31
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Looks at election results, packs bag.
« on: Nov 09, 2016, 01:27:57 AM »
Okay, joe, I think it's time we got married. 
--- Registration is closed. I don't want your Cialis. ---
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
32
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Rogue One Trailer
« on: Aug 13, 2016, 01:20:28 AM »Incoming rant...
Kinda makes me sad that I feel nothing. "Let's just keep recycling George Lucas's ideas, everyone!" I'm sick of the Death Star and I'm stick of Vader. Oh, look, an AT-ACT. We've seen those things already. Yeah, I know the plot. That they're stealing Death Star plans. But it doesn't mean we even need the Death Star in the actual movie. With each St*r WarzzZZ movie, they continue to make a galaxy far, far away look postage-stamp small. Everything revolves around the same people, the same planets, the same technology.
And the two leads are the blandest-looking people ever. She's a pretty girl, but she's generic looking. Oh, look, it's a young, scrappy British girl as the lead. The same goddamn thing we had in the last freakin' movie. I really wish there was a non-white woman as the lead like Rinko or Rashida Jones or Michelle Rodriguez or Priyanka or Gugu Mbatha-Raw. But barring that, if they really REALLY just needed a white girl, why HER? I'd prefer Cara Delevingne's shitty eyebrows at this point and I can't stand that chick. Zooey. Mila. Jamie Alexander. Emma Stone. Even Lucy Lawless. *gasp* I know. She's almost 50. Soooo old. Can't have old women killing geek boners, can we?
Anyway, this film will break records and make billions. So whatever, I guess.
Bonus link where they analyze trailer:
http://www.theverge.com/2016/8/12/12451668/star-wars-rogue-one-trailer-2-analysis-break-down
33
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / The New, Improved Food Thread.
« on: Jul 04, 2016, 03:50:19 AM »
Okay, I lied. Nothing's really improved, it's just new. Anyway, I always thought I was a decent cook. I guess I am, generally speaking. I tend to be hard on myself sometimes. But I didn't realize until, like, this year or last year that I was overcooking my food. 
I haven't been cooking as often as I'd like to these days and now when I am in the kitchen making something, it became urgent that I cook it as fast as possible so that I could leave the kitchen as quickly as possible. In doing so, I've been cooking the juiciest chicken and the moistest eggs ever. I still need to master making moist red meat. And I still have problems with making a perfect, moist chicken breast. But I've conquered fucking tenders. Juicy as fuck. 
I haven't been cooking as often as I'd like to these days and now when I am in the kitchen making something, it became urgent that I cook it as fast as possible so that I could leave the kitchen as quickly as possible. In doing so, I've been cooking the juiciest chicken and the moistest eggs ever. I still need to master making moist red meat. And I still have problems with making a perfect, moist chicken breast. But I've conquered fucking tenders. Juicy as fuck.
34
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Ok, ok, I know this is wrong of me.
« on: Jul 04, 2016, 03:43:19 AM »
I genuinely want to know which Harry Potter movie the guy who died in the Tesla crash was watching. Because if it was anything past Goblet of Fire, he died for nothing.
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jul/01/tesla-driver-killed-autopilot-self-driving-car-harry-potter
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jul/01/tesla-driver-killed-autopilot-self-driving-car-harry-potter
35
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Quirks.
« on: Jul 03, 2016, 01:36:48 PM »
Feel free to share your own or someone else's.
Merla mentioned she saw Finding Dory and apparently missed the tag at the end. I then mentioned how I have to stay until the end of the movie. Tag or no tag. The movie is not "complete" until I've seen the logos at the end. I've been this way as far as I can remember. I still remember seeing the movie Congo in the theater and my mom making me walk out before the credits were over. That was twenty years ago. I'm STILL salty.
I recall the same thing happening with the Super Mario Bros and that one was even further back.
Merla mentioned she saw Finding Dory and apparently missed the tag at the end. I then mentioned how I have to stay until the end of the movie. Tag or no tag. The movie is not "complete" until I've seen the logos at the end. I've been this way as far as I can remember. I still remember seeing the movie Congo in the theater and my mom making me walk out before the credits were over. That was twenty years ago. I'm STILL salty.
I recall the same thing happening with the Super Mario Bros and that one was even further back.
36
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Sorry, Joe.
« on: Jun 19, 2016, 07:32:54 AM »
I had a shiny Canadian peseta just for you and now I can't find it. Someone slipped it to me at the Sonic Drive-In instead of giving me a rugged, manly American nickel.
37
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Random shit with no unified subject matter: the thread.
« on: Jun 01, 2016, 05:14:08 AM »
I think Sunny Mabrey would've made a great Sue Storm. She probably still would, but she's forty now and we know how Hollywood hates women forty and over. As someone who has always enjoyed sexy older women on my screen, this has always mades me 
‘Begin Again’ Director Bashes Keira Knightley’s Acting Ha ha, fuck her. I liked her in Bend in Like Beckham. Then I realized she was just playing herself. I find her so obnoxious now. Also, Beckham was a tool for not doing a cameo in that movie.
I've been eyeing a certain purse at Kohl's and added it to my cart at the store's website the other day, applying online coupons to the price. It was on sale for Memorial Day, reduced by about fourteen dollars. I decided, as I often do, to just leave it in the cart and not buy it after all. It pains me to pay for shipping and I couldn't find anything to give me free shipping. I went back to the page to see if there were new sales. That purse is now reduced by over twenty dollars. I can only conclude Kohl's hates our troops.
We've been having heavy rain in Texas. The Brazos river had some record flooding. You can google pics. Brazos is the Spanish word for "arms." There's your fun fact for the day.
Twiggy is crying at my door for food. I'm going to go feed him now.
‘Begin Again’ Director Bashes Keira Knightley’s Acting Ha ha, fuck her. I liked her in Bend in Like Beckham. Then I realized she was just playing herself. I find her so obnoxious now. Also, Beckham was a tool for not doing a cameo in that movie.
I've been eyeing a certain purse at Kohl's and added it to my cart at the store's website the other day, applying online coupons to the price. It was on sale for Memorial Day, reduced by about fourteen dollars. I decided, as I often do, to just leave it in the cart and not buy it after all. It pains me to pay for shipping and I couldn't find anything to give me free shipping. I went back to the page to see if there were new sales. That purse is now reduced by over twenty dollars. I can only conclude Kohl's hates our troops.
We've been having heavy rain in Texas. The Brazos river had some record flooding. You can google pics. Brazos is the Spanish word for "arms." There's your fun fact for the day.
Twiggy is crying at my door for food. I'm going to go feed him now.
38
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Lol, guy with a neck tattoo knocking on my door.
« on: May 30, 2016, 02:21:06 PM »
I'm not answering it so fuck off, thugsby. 
39
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / So does Johnny Depp know...
« on: May 30, 2016, 03:41:21 AM »
...he's not really Jack Sparrow? 
40
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Comedians (Feel free to post faves and recommend.)
« on: May 26, 2016, 05:38:39 AM »
I need laffs so I've been searching for some through Netflix. I've mainly been searching for women comedians. While I like a funny man, I really hate an unfunny one and there's too many unfunny men that get specials and shit. It just seems to be easier to weed through the women. Unfunny men make me want to beat nuns. I've seen a bunch of the funny men anyway: Carlin. (Don't even know if his stuff's still there but they used to have an assload of it at one time.) Louis CK. Craig Ferguson. So anway...
Ali Wong - Baby Cobra. I didn't think I'd enjoy watching a slutty prego as much as I did her. I'm wary of slutty women comics because their promiscuity becomes their punchline and it can get super old fast. See Lisa Lampaneli, Amy Schumer, etc. It's actually a similar deal with the prudie ones. You can talk about this shit, but if that's all you've got for me, I'm going to lose my patience with you. Ali Wong gets almost uncomfortably TMI. She talks about her HPV. Her miscarriage bike. Stifling her shits. "Pussy" and "snail trail" make it into the same sentence. It works because it borders on educational, I think. It's nice to hear a woman acknowledge these things. It makes her more like a real person instead of other comics that are just trying to make an image.
Kitty Flanagan. (I actually watched her special on Netflix: Hello Kitty Flanagan.) She's like the older, peppier, Aussie version of me. I'll be your friend, Kitty.
I also saw two other chicks who got a couple of laughs from me. I don't remember their names. I tried looking up who they were but the Netflix site is a bitch and a half. rant// It's made for touchscreens. It doesn't let me sign in anymore. To clarify, Merla owns the account but I could sign in under any profile connected to the account. Doing this only required the user name and password. Now the sign-in screen insists on an email and password. (Or sign in with FB.) Only Merla's email has been connected to our Netflix. I don't know if I can also connect myself to it, but I wasn't gonna do that anyway. If I didn't already have her credentials, I'd be boned right now. Especially since I'm the only profile left with a DVD queue and you can only add DVDs through the website as far as I can tell. I was actually signing in to cancel that. Which is great. Because they're making my life harder anyway. So fuck you, Netflix.
When I signed out, Netflix then proceeded to autoplay an Orange is the New Black trailer. Double fuck you, Netflix. //rant
I did see a bunch of unfunny chick comics, too, but I one-starred their asses and moved on. Didn't get any of those bitches' names. Heather... or Jena... or something. Oh, Leslie Jones. I tried watching her special. It was painful in proportion to the million beads of sweat pouring all over her body. I'm not even gonna click on anything starting with Chels- and ending with -andler.
Ali Wong - Baby Cobra. I didn't think I'd enjoy watching a slutty prego as much as I did her. I'm wary of slutty women comics because their promiscuity becomes their punchline and it can get super old fast. See Lisa Lampaneli, Amy Schumer, etc. It's actually a similar deal with the prudie ones. You can talk about this shit, but if that's all you've got for me, I'm going to lose my patience with you. Ali Wong gets almost uncomfortably TMI. She talks about her HPV. Her miscarriage bike. Stifling her shits. "Pussy" and "snail trail" make it into the same sentence. It works because it borders on educational, I think.
It's nice to hear a woman acknowledge these things. It makes her more like a real person instead of other comics that are just trying to make an image.Kitty Flanagan. (I actually watched her special on Netflix: Hello Kitty Flanagan.) She's like the older, peppier, Aussie version of me. I'll be your friend, Kitty.
I also saw two other chicks who got a couple of laughs from me. I don't remember their names. I tried looking up who they were but the Netflix site is a bitch and a half. rant// It's made for touchscreens. It doesn't let me sign in anymore. To clarify, Merla owns the account but I could sign in under any profile connected to the account. Doing this only required the user name and password. Now the sign-in screen insists on an email and password. (Or sign in with FB.) Only Merla's email has been connected to our Netflix. I don't know if I can also connect myself to it, but I wasn't gonna do that anyway. If I didn't already have her credentials, I'd be boned right now. Especially since I'm the only profile left with a DVD queue and you can only add DVDs through the website as far as I can tell. I was actually signing in to cancel that. Which is great. Because they're making my life harder anyway. So fuck you, Netflix.
When I signed out, Netflix then proceeded to autoplay an Orange is the New Black trailer. Double fuck you, Netflix. //rantI did see a bunch of unfunny chick comics, too, but I one-starred their asses and moved on. Didn't get any of those bitches' names. Heather... or Jena... or something. Oh, Leslie Jones. I tried watching her special. It was painful in proportion to the million beads of sweat pouring all over her body. I'm not even gonna click on anything starting with Chels- and ending with -andler.
41
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Voltron: Legendary Defender
« on: May 17, 2016, 06:39:28 AM »
I think it deserves its own thread.
Trailer:
Trailer:
42
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Happy Mother's Day....!
« on: May 09, 2016, 04:05:21 AM »
....to all the mothers on the boa---what? Faye? Just Faye, then I guess. Wherever she is. 
43
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / I kinda fixed it, I guess.
« on: Feb 04, 2016, 08:24:29 PM »
I pretty much had to dump my old theme. I miss the yellow. I'm still fixing stuff to my liking. Feel free to bitch at me if something's not functional. 
44
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / **looks around**
« on: Dec 16, 2015, 11:01:20 PM »
Uh, yeah, I don't know what's going on with the board. I'll take a look at that later or something.
45
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Fifi Birthday Thread.
« on: Jul 11, 2015, 10:18:39 AM »
Making it late because I wished him a happy b-day on Facebook. Making a thread 'cause why not.
46
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Wow, this is ugly. (a.k.a. Hello, new Jem comic.)
« on: Mar 25, 2015, 05:44:49 PM »
Seriously. All of their faces look like five year olds. Even the Misfits. Congratulations on body diversity or whatever but why did that mean nose bridges and cheekbones had to die?
47
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / So, uh, Mallrats 2?
« on: Mar 25, 2015, 05:39:53 PM »
News has been floating around about a week or so now but I felt like posting something anyway.
It's about fifteen years overdue and about fourteen years too long for me to care. I bet it's going to have some plotline involving the mall closing. Because malls are doing that now.
Obligatory link: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/mallrats-sequel-in-the-works-20-years-later-says-creator-kevin-smith-2015163
It's about fifteen years overdue and about fourteen years too long for me to care. I bet it's going to have some plotline involving the mall closing. Because malls are doing that now.
Obligatory link: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/mallrats-sequel-in-the-works-20-years-later-says-creator-kevin-smith-2015163
48
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / ☆ HAPPY NEW YEAR! ☆
« on: Jan 01, 2015, 06:02:31 PM »
Better late than never. Hope this year is less shitty for you all. 
49
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / I'm just gonna leave this here for Shwiggie....
« on: Dec 30, 2014, 01:49:20 PM »
...whenever he comes by in case he can shed some light on this. I have no idea what's going on with the memory in this computer. I kept getting low memory warnings when I go about my business. Computer's only a week old.
50
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Whhhhhhhhhhhyy!?
« on: Aug 19, 2014, 10:25:50 AM »
The gold's in the comments tho. NSFW. At all.
http://jezebel.com/disney-dudes-dicks-what-your-favorite-princes-look-lik-1621694437
51
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Happy Birthday, Fifi!
« on: Jul 10, 2014, 11:49:17 AM »
No longer are you a man of your twenties.
Everything has changed.
EVERYTHING.
52
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Ann B. Davis, Alice on 'Brady Bunch,' dies
« on: Jun 02, 2014, 10:39:55 PM »
She was living in San Antonio so my only regret is that I didn't properly stalk her.
53
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / I had a dream that I had a parasite... [Yeah, it's kinda gross.]
« on: May 29, 2014, 11:40:07 PM »
...it came out of my whatzitz like a big clear worm-thing and it was spawning these clear little "babies" that looked like a transparent white version of the Rico's oil drop. Or I guess that would be cheese drop. Whatever. And the things were everywhere and if you stepped on them, you would get infected and birth a fuckin' worm thing. And all the drops would go "ARE U MY MAMMA!?" And hundred of them are all saying this at once and dividing to double and triple their numbers. And I woke up all "wut dafuq is dis."
Well... I'm just glad I could share this with you.
Well... I'm just glad I could share this with you.
54
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / FUCKING REBOOTS.
« on: May 29, 2014, 11:34:32 PM »
I hijacked this thread - Original Topic: Reboots for Cliffhanger and Stargate have been announced.
Okay, so maybe you want to start a new Stargate franchise or whatever but Cliffhanger?
Let's scrape that barrel bottom!
Okay, so maybe you want to start a new Stargate franchise or whatever but Cliffhanger?
Let's scrape that barrel bottom!
55
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Does anyone here really give a fuck about the St@r Wars casting news?
« on: Apr 30, 2014, 02:39:01 PM »
Because MEH. It just seems like it's going to be more and more terrible coming our way. It'd be awesome if they turn out to be something I can enjoy but I'm not holding my breath.
56
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Taxes done!
« on: Apr 12, 2014, 11:53:10 PM »
Man, I tackled them early this year.
57
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Does everyone here hate Firefly?
« on: Mar 24, 2014, 02:00:54 PM »
I need to make sure we're all fighting on the side of good.
58
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Is anyone in here an extreme hoarder (or a minimalist)?
« on: Mar 24, 2014, 01:57:41 PM »
Or do you know of anyone like either of the above? Just curious or whatever.
59
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / So Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron...
« on: Feb 15, 2014, 10:34:12 PM »
...because that shit's been making the news rounds lately. Since Rowling said she hooked up Hermione and Ron for personal reasons or some bullshit like that. Really, I think all of them should've just stayed friends without the hackneyed romance bullshit. The epilogue will forever be the worst part of those damn books. But at least it's not Twilight.
60
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / "Why the Fuck Are There So Many Bandages?" a.k.a. "Sonic Boom"
« on: Feb 07, 2014, 10:49:33 PM »
a.k.a. "Why the Fuck Are There So Many Goddamn Bandages?" Did a mummy get raped somewhere? Knuckles looks fucking awful. Whoever approved this shit should be strangled with something. Preferrably some bandages. I mean, since when did bandages become a thing? It's not like they can make them bloody, which would have at least made them look cool. Even the fucking shoes. Even the fucking shoes have fucking bandages. Did the shoes cut themselves? Did the shoes cut themselves? Are the shoes hurt? The shoes are hurt so they need bandages because they're living shoes? Won't Sonic trip tryin' to run on shoes with bandages on them? Bandages. Everywhere bandages.