The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Bernie AKA on Sep 13, 2004, 03:19:29 PM

Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 13, 2004, 03:19:29 PM
Forwarded by a fellow CF'er - original post from the Baby Center board:

Quote
UGH!! I had my second baby 2/22/04 and everything was going along just fine until the pit. was started at 7cm 100% effaced. I went drug free again as I did w/ my first and boy did I feel everything! The muscle between my v.hole and b.hole ripped fully apart. My two holes became one. My midwife said she has never in her 15 years of nursing has she seen a tear like that. They described it as "hamburger" It took 2.5 hrs in the OR and two MD's to put me back together. I was told if I have another baby I MUST have a c/s or run the risk of wearing diapers the rest of my life. I have decided no more babies, I cant go through that again. What an awful experience, one that I will never forget. Anyone else been through this? My butt is still sore to this day, 4 months later


*hugs all our furbabies*  :lol:



 
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: tomduo on Sep 13, 2004, 04:18:12 PM
Take the drugs.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 13, 2004, 11:00:25 PM
DISGUSTO!!  Now I think I'm certain I don't want one.  If I ever hook up with someone and he REALLY wants one, he's gonna have to fuckin' PAY me to birth some little monster seedling.  JESUS CHRIST.

Semi-related, Bernie, do you still have that child-free link you posted at my blog a long while back?  I changed comment software and now I don'ts gots it no more.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 13, 2004, 11:15:47 PM
OMFG thats horrible!!! thats why i have always prefer cesarea!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 13, 2004, 11:47:11 PM
Are you sure?  What if it leaves a scar?  Assuming you don't get stretch marks...
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 14, 2004, 02:00:02 AM
with today's technology, theres no scars left:-D
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 02:01:55 AM
Just wait for transporter technology and they can zap the kid out.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 14, 2004, 02:08:11 AM
exactly.
or make the man give birth
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bitch on Sep 14, 2004, 02:08:36 AM
Or just don't have kids.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 14, 2004, 02:10:23 AM
........god fuckshit.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 02:24:53 AM
Or be like that frog that has a back full of eggs imbedded in its skin!  EWWW!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 14, 2004, 02:25:47 AM
X_X
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 03:02:34 AM
:lol:  I'd Google for an image for that but I'm getting tired.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 14, 2004, 11:51:47 AM
Quote
Semi-related, Bernie, do you still have that child-free link you posted at my blog a long while back? I changed comment software and now I don'ts gots it no more.

Hell, it's bookmarked here at work.  :P

http://www.fred.net/turtle/kids/kidrants.shtml (http://www.fred.net/turtle/kids/kidrants.shtml)

Proud winner of the Sally Jessy Cruel Site of the Day award!  :D

And also in the semi-related dept,  some bored housewife  is trying to get Maddox's site shut down for being "harmful to children"- GAAAAHHHHH!!!

http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/mam/main.htm (http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/mam/main.htm)

Abd finally, lest anyone think the original subject is an urban legend, here's the link.  Worth it for the thread title alone!  Apparently,  goaste crotch happens all the time.

http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/pregnancy/.../thread/1165945 (http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/pregnancy/childbirth/9258/thread/1165945)

Quote
When she got upset and had a bowel movement, her poop would go out the wrong opening
:x !!!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 14, 2004, 12:24:18 PM
My signature is around 198XX, but it certainly would be a waste of time to look for it now.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 14, 2004, 12:39:33 PM
:lol: Told Beth to do something uncomfortable and physically inconvenient, did you?
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 14, 2004, 01:49:34 PM
aww i dont like that sit,r they talk about coockies getting fucked up and moms dying:-/



i wonder how long they have to wait till they can have sex?
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Fiero on Sep 14, 2004, 07:12:10 PM
After that, would you even think about fucking sex?
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bitch on Sep 14, 2004, 07:18:30 PM
Fucking sex? I thought that was the only kind there was!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: tomduo on Sep 14, 2004, 10:05:31 PM
Not in Hanoi.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 11:21:32 PM
"A$$ ripped wide open during second delivery"  Ha ha, dollar signs is so bling-bling.

MAM?  Isn't there anything better to do with their time than suppress someone else's freedom of speech?  "Currently, parental blockers are not blocking his site and this is just unacceptable."  Oh no, he's making me monitor what my kids look at on the internet!  Great f'in God!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 11:25:47 PM
OMG, I read more of that MAM page...

"I discovered his website when I found my oldest son, age 14 looking through a page on his site that promoted suicide..... Ever since my son started going to Maddox's website, I noticed an increase in his hatred towards certain groups of people and his negative attitude towards life."

Maybe it's because you're ignoring him to bitch about something that's meaningless in your lives!  This kid could be clinically depressed, picked on in school, going through a generally tough time and you're concerned about a website.  Why do you think he went there in the first place!?  Stupid cow!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 11:57:52 PM
*Sigh* I missed that Brats site.  It's going in my favorites.  
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 15, 2004, 08:30:07 AM
I made the "raining sprogs" post yesterday.  Jump in & share anytime!  :D  
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 15, 2004, 08:38:31 AM
Quote
After that, would you even think about fucking sex?
dude if i was pregnant and didnt have sex for at least 2 months, believe me, i would be freaking h-o-r-n-y
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 15, 2004, 08:41:57 AM
One of the guys up here got a bit 'faced at Happy Hour last week & admitted that he hadn't had any since his wife was 8 months pregnant.  The kid is almost 5 month old, so do the math.  Apparently, he had the gall to touch a breast the night before and she slapped his hand away and said, "Those belong to Shitleigh!" or whatever the kid's name is.  :lol:  
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 15, 2004, 08:43:55 AM
OMG LOL!
thats freaking crazy! does pregnant women dont get horny or what?  i thought they do
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 15, 2004, 08:48:33 AM
Some women become so obsessed with the kid that the husband becomes secondary, except for monetary support.   I can't imagine a life that fucked up, but it happens all the time.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 15, 2004, 08:51:20 AM
Quote
Some women become so obsessed with the kid that the husband becomes secondary
fuck that!!! no waaay thats gonna happen to me!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 15, 2004, 08:57:59 AM
It makes for a royally fucked-up family dynamic, that's for sure.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 18, 2004, 12:48:51 AM
Sorry but if I'm paying for the tit, I'm touching the tit!  Shitleigh, wait your turn!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 18, 2004, 01:27:43 AM
Looking over the latest batch of BRATS entries...  Reinbeau.  LMAO  That's the funniest name ever.  I almost wet my pants.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Rumble on Sep 19, 2004, 06:45:47 AM
Quote
Some women become so obsessed with the kid that the husband becomes secondary, except for monetary support.   I can't imagine a life that fucked up, but it happens all the time.
Well that's why there used to be such a thing as polygamy, before the Christians came along and fucked that up.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: tomduo on Sep 19, 2004, 11:20:04 AM
Well if you ever had a Latina...

Hell, I would only want one woman. Any more, and I'd die @.x;
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 19, 2004, 11:30:07 AM
Hmm. You're dumb.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: B E C K on Sep 19, 2004, 09:06:54 PM
I know as a woman I shouldn't be saying this... but that... that doesn't sound right.
 
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: tomduo on Sep 20, 2004, 12:49:23 AM
I couldn't handle anyone else. It would kill me... ya know, if any of them didn't.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 21, 2004, 09:27:25 AM
Nothing wrong with looking.  I don't care where Eddie gets an appetite.  He's always home for dinner.  :P  
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Rumble on Sep 21, 2004, 10:19:27 AM
The question is, does he always come home alone?
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: tomduo on Sep 21, 2004, 10:48:27 AM
Kinky!
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 21, 2004, 11:31:23 AM
Excluding stray cats found at pubs, yes.   For someone who still has boxes of groupie letters & pictures from his metal band days, he's very jealous and doesn't want any references to my life before he came on the scene, esp. a certain woman.   Does no good for me to point out that he was six when she & I were living together either.  :lol:  
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Rumble on Sep 21, 2004, 12:26:19 PM
He had groupies in his metal band days?  :o

All we got was bottles thrown at our heads,..... and that ways on good days.


 
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Fiero on Sep 21, 2004, 12:29:19 PM
I had some hardcore kids following me around for awhile, but the band folded for a few months.  Fucking dick-up-ass guitarists.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 21, 2004, 02:15:45 PM
A swinger couple tried to pick up me and Kimmy three years ago at the restaurant we both worked at.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Rumble on Sep 21, 2004, 02:21:16 PM
Well our band was succesfull for the only purpose we formed it, namely getting into bars even though we were younger then 16. As soon as we were all legal to drink, we immediately dissolved the band.

Goddamn we sucked.
I recently dug up our first demo tape (we made a total of two), it barely qualifies as noise, let alone music.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 21, 2004, 03:12:46 PM
did u sing?
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 21, 2004, 03:15:26 PM
No, he pounded the stage with his alternating fists.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Rumble on Sep 21, 2004, 03:20:58 PM
Quote
did u sing?
Well considering we were trying to emulate Darkthrone, I wouldn't exactly call it singing, but yeah I was the guy behind the mike.
Of course that was mainly because I never bothered to learn how to play the guitar.
Title: Reason # 5,986,472 why I will never have a kid
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 21, 2004, 03:27:47 PM
Eddie was on bass; still plays occasionally.   I hear noises between him & this guy I bartend with about starting up a band, but nobody's gotten off his ass yet.  :P