The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: The D on Sep 01, 2004, 03:07:51 PM

Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: The D on Sep 01, 2004, 03:07:51 PM
I'd get the fuck outta Florida while I still could. That thing's massive. I'd say it's at least half the size of Texas.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 01, 2004, 03:25:11 PM
I know I know. I'm actually not that worried, everything is insured, and my fiancee's family is all in the army. I think I am good.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 01, 2004, 03:31:48 PM
Didn't you say you're in Orlando or did I get overloaded with Faye's natterings about Mr. Bloom?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: The D on Sep 01, 2004, 03:37:08 PM
Quote
fiancee's

Oh, when did this happen?

Quote
everything is insured

I think you should be less worried about your house collapsing and more on the house collapsing on your head. Houses may be insured and can be replaced. Your crushed skull and disemboweled body can't.

I don't think your fiancee would want to visit your funeral mid Sept.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 01, 2004, 03:48:44 PM
Quote
Quote
fiancee's

Oh, when did this happen?

Quote
everything is insured

I think you should be less worried about your house collapsing and more on the house collapsing on your head. Houses may be insured and can be replaced. Your crushed skull and disemboweled body can't.

I don't think your fiancee would want to visit your funeral mid Sept.
A couple of weeks ago...

And hey, I won't be here if it does. I am in Miami now, expect me to go somewheres else.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 01, 2004, 03:54:39 PM
Congratulations!   :D  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Sep 01, 2004, 07:32:45 PM
If Tom reproduces, the world is doomed.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 01, 2004, 08:08:11 PM
At least I can.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 01, 2004, 11:42:57 PM
Holy crap, that thing's big.  I hope it shoots some rain this way.


Congrats, Tom-o.  Now I can officially refer to KarmaRose as 'the ol' ball 'n chain'.  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 01, 2004, 11:57:41 PM
Actually, Im the ball.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 02, 2004, 12:00:08 AM
..............just one?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 02, 2004, 12:08:19 AM
:(

Don't ask.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 02, 2004, 12:15:38 AM
Like a Tom Green thing or something...
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 02, 2004, 12:19:45 AM
If only fate were that nice. No, my tale begins with the serpant trade show, in 1998. I was substituting for my friend. He was originally supposed to be a snake charmer, but got the flu. So instead, I was drafted so he wouldn't lose his lisence. The snake charming board is a very fickle orginization, which can remove permits at will. My friend was near death, and I couldn't let him lose his job. So instead I got in the uniform and did my best. Of course, I started playing, and pissed some guy from Southie off, and he kicked the basket over...

the rest is history.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 02, 2004, 12:24:15 AM
Uh,that's like a joke, right?  :lol:  RIGHT?   :blink:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 02, 2004, 06:40:35 AM
I hope you guys get the rain, we've had our fair share this summer...


... I've never seen my backyard so green!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: The D on Sep 02, 2004, 12:34:01 PM
A snake bit off one of your testicles?  :blink:

>_>




from cnn (http://www.cnn.com/2004/WEATHER/09/02/hurricane.frances/index.html):
Quote
....With its 145 mph (233 kph) sustained winds and 175 mph (282) gusts....

"This is a much bigger storm than Charley was, maybe two to three times the size," Rappaport said. "There'll be a large area of damage when this comes ashore."....
Rappaport said that Frances was also a larger storm than Hurricane Andrew, the devastating Category 5 storm that crushed South Florida in 1992.

Larger?  :huh:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 02, 2004, 07:28:44 PM
Quote
Didn't you say you're in Orlando or did I get overloaded with Faye's natterings about Mr. Bloom?
i almost had an orgasm when i saw orlando naked in troy.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 03, 2004, 12:29:47 AM
OMG!  :lol:
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 03, 2004, 06:39:26 AM
Meh.  He's not that great looking.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 03, 2004, 11:24:14 AM
he is!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 03, 2004, 11:57:28 AM
Quote
Quote
Didn't you say you're in Orlando or did I get overloaded with Faye's natterings about Mr. Bloom?
i almost had an orgasm when i saw orlando naked in troy.
 Bloom aint got nothin on me. This is me in the shower this morning. I was dirty.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 03, 2004, 12:47:00 PM
Hey, don't stop scrubbing.


We usually feel the storms here in Atlanta, but are never hurt by them.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 03, 2004, 03:54:07 PM
Quote
Quote
Quote
Didn't you say you're in Orlando or did I get overloaded with Faye's natterings about Mr. Bloom?
i almost had an orgasm when i saw orlando naked in troy.
Bloom aint got nothin on me. This is me in the shower this morning. I was dirty.
puh-leaasse!!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 03, 2004, 09:46:25 PM
Bloom's not that great.  I'm afraid of the picture of Toe, it makes me have bad feelings.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 03, 2004, 09:55:55 PM
what about this one?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 03, 2004, 10:02:52 PM
Quote
Bloom's not that great.  I'm afraid of the picture of Toe, it makes me have bad feelings.
*mental note

Never bend down near Fiero.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 03, 2004, 11:04:57 PM
So he's a little muscular, I don't like his face a lot.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 07, 2004, 12:55:49 AM
Quote
what about this one?
Dude!  Who's that?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 07, 2004, 01:01:34 AM
This thread turned so gay.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 07, 2004, 01:52:15 AM
Let's all start exfoliating.


Okay, one of the women: tell me hwa texactly I just suggested.  :huh:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 07, 2004, 08:48:37 AM
ex·fo·li·ate    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (ks-fl-t)
v. ex·fo·li·at·ed, ex·fo·li·at·ing, ex·fo·li·ates
v. tr.
To remove (a layer of bark or skin, for example) in flakes or scales; peel.
To cast off in scales, flakes, or splinters.

v. intr.
To come off or separate into flakes, scales, or layers.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Latin exfolire, exfolit-, to strip of leaves  : ex-, ex- + folium, leaf; see bhel-3 in Indo-European Roots.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ex·foli·ation n.
ex·foli·ative adj.
ex·foli·ator n.

[Download or Buy Now]
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


exfoliating

Exfoliate \Ex*fo"li*ate\, v. i. [imp. & p. p. Exfoliated; p. pr. & vb. n. Exfoliating.] [L. exfoliare to strip of leaves; ex out, from + folium leaf.] 1. To separate and come off in scales or lamin[ae], as pieces of carious bone or of bark.

2. (Min.) To split into scales, especially to become converted into scales at the result of heat or decomposition
 
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 07, 2004, 09:56:02 AM
Because you entered.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 07, 2004, 10:18:32 AM
Nuri:  That looks like Marcus Schlenker (model).  And I thought Orlando's necklace was some thingie hanging from a pierced nipple at first!  :blink:

So back to pre-hijack topic:  How did y'all do in the hurricane, tom?  I figured any storm with the same name as Eddie's mother would be pretty grim.  :P  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 07, 2004, 10:31:35 AM
Was windy... that's about all I saw. Didn't lose powet in the dorm (My alarm clock wasn't blinking 12:00) though I stayed at my fiancee's house. Hurricane shuttered, with loads of water and canned goods. Now Ivan is coming. I blame Florida's support of Bush. God is pissed.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 07, 2004, 10:52:19 AM
Maybe he just doesn't like your mother?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 07, 2004, 11:22:59 AM
Quote
I blame Florida's support of Bush. God is pissed.

Yeah, if I was ol' Jebbers, I'd try to run an honest election this time.
 
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 07, 2004, 12:54:56 PM
Quote
Maybe he just doesn't like your mother?
My mom lives in Rhode Island o.o

INSULT DEFLECTED!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 07, 2004, 02:08:51 PM
Quote
Nuri:  That looks like Marcus Schlenker (model).  And I thought Orlando's necklace was some thingie hanging from a pierced nipple at first!  :blink:
 :lol:  :lol:

i have no idea of who he is, all i know is that he is a model for calvin klein
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 07, 2004, 03:50:15 PM
Quote
Quote
Maybe he just doesn't like your mother?
My mom lives in Rhode Island o.o

INSULT DEFLECTED!
So killing you will give her greif, therefore actually getting God's intended result: your mother's emotional torture and suicide.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 07, 2004, 09:03:18 PM
But nothing happened to me. WORST INSULT EVER!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 07, 2004, 10:38:39 PM
You're gay.  I WIN!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 07, 2004, 10:52:54 PM
but he's banging an 18 year old broad. Wait is she a trannie? I KNEW IT!! You're a crafty one Tom.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 07, 2004, 10:54:49 PM
You're a crafy one, Mr GAY!  bwahaha, see, it's funng cuz I'm making it sound like the 'The Grinch' music, bwahhahahaa!  I so funnerry!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 07, 2004, 10:59:38 PM
:unsure:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 08, 2004, 07:54:28 PM
Yeah, me too, Toe.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 07:56:26 PM
She's twenty. And lacks a penis.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 07:58:07 PM
As far as you know.  She could be tucking it between her legs.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 08:02:40 PM
o.O

That's some good tuck job. I'm between her legs more than a tampon.

Except you know... when it's draining.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 08:28:06 PM
Why not?  The wetter the better!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 08:28:39 PM
o.O

Well for one, she won't let me. Second, ew.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 08, 2004, 08:31:02 PM
You need to control your woman tom.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 08:31:53 PM
For reals, show 'er who's da boss.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 08:43:19 PM
X.x; No thanks.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ekerou etaou on Sep 08, 2004, 09:01:31 PM
Quote
Why not?  The wetter the better!
fuckberries, that's damn gross.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 09:01:43 PM
It's still pussy, you just have to shower afterwards.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 09:14:13 PM
You have never tasted period juice, then.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 09:19:14 PM
Quote
You have never tasted period juice, then.
Dude, I did not fucking say eat her out, I said FUCK HER.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 09:47:01 PM
What fun is just that? You can fuck your hand any time you want.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 09:47:45 PM
Oh my god, you can't tell me that's anything similar.  You could at least assfuck her while she's on.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 09:55:06 PM
o.O What is your facination with asses?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 08, 2004, 10:19:39 PM
The more cushion for the pushin'.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 10:20:49 PM
He wants the smelly part, not the spankable part.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 08, 2004, 10:22:11 PM
who doesnt?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 08, 2004, 10:36:36 PM
Quote
It's still pussy, you just have to shower afterwards.
ewwwwww
some time ago i was dating this guy and we were like kissing and he wanted to have sex and i said sorry i cant im in my period and he said so what EWWW thats the nastiest thing ever plus its very unhealthy for the girl.

 
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 08, 2004, 10:54:00 PM
Quote
Quote
It's still pussy, you just have to shower afterwards.
ewwwwww
some time ago i was dating this guy and we were like kissing and he wanted to have sex and i said sorry i cant im in my period and he said so what EWWW thats the nastiest thing ever plus its very unhealthy for the girl.
Really?  No one's ever told me that.  Explain, please.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 08, 2004, 11:30:41 PM
I dunno about being unhealthy for the girl, but the feeling of your body squeezing itself like her vagina was a toothpaste tube tends to make girls not up for sex.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 09, 2004, 12:00:21 AM
I remember this friend from hs told me once he knew this girl that liked to get it while she was on her period.  Grossness.


Speaking of grossness, I started mine today.  X__X
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 09, 2004, 12:05:44 AM
So,cramping is the result of squeezing the ovaries?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 09, 2004, 12:07:39 AM
Uterus.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 09, 2004, 12:08:33 AM
so where is the goddamn womb?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 09, 2004, 12:16:35 AM
That's the uterus.



Do you even know what a woman looks like?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 09, 2004, 12:23:42 AM
My high school health teacher explained it to us as if it were the Chicago Bull's logo. He was a 60 year old italian man from Providence. I know how uncomfortable he was.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2004, 12:27:08 AM
Quote
Quote
Quote
It's still pussy, you just have to shower afterwards.
ewwwwww
some time ago i was dating this guy and we were like kissing and he wanted to have sex and i said sorry i cant im in my period and he said so what EWWW thats the nastiest thing ever plus its very unhealthy for the girl.
Really?  No one's ever told me that.  Explain, please.
yes (and i got this explication from my best friend's mom who is a very important gynecologist)

the thing that comes out when u have a period is, besides blood, other stuff that is being expulsed from your body(most of it is dead matter), so if u have sex while u have ur period the only thing you are doing is just keeping that stuff inside you, or even(with the thrusts) just getting it back again in there. this can lead to infections or even cancer.

 
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 09, 2004, 12:31:01 AM
o.O Your body would drain it irreguardlessly. It makes chemicals when it detects that the stuff is there, and past it's prime. If it was up in there, it would just come out while you weren't being stuck. That's just an urban legend.

Unless you have a cock in you for several years, which could be the case... >.>;
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2004, 12:34:49 AM
yes, thats right. why would i doubt you, seems like when a gynecologist have been with that title for more than 30 years and becomes very important and recognized, they stop making sense. dumb woman.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 09, 2004, 07:21:51 AM
What's the gyno's name, so I can look her up?  If she's being doing it so long, is there a book she's written?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 09, 2004, 08:35:40 AM
Quote
That's the uterus.



Do you even know what a woman looks like?
no, but so what.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 09, 2004, 10:16:17 AM
Quote
yes, thats right. why would i doubt you, seems like when a gynecologist have been with that title for more than 30 years and becomes very important and recognized, they stop making sense. dumb woman.
How the fuck would that 'gynocologist's' explaination make any confuckle of sense.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2004, 11:18:37 AM
you are such a moron, i hope you know that.


the last name is Keilany, no idea about the first name, i cant ask my friend cause shes in saudi right now. she used to work here in philly but now she only comes to conferences in ny, florida and philadelphia. i think right now shes working for one of the princes in saudi, not sure.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 09, 2004, 01:06:53 PM
The old lady with the head scarf? (http://www.insurance-hospital.com/english/medical%20service/obgyn.htm)  :huh:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 09, 2004, 01:23:30 PM
Uh huh. Unless you pull out something other than 'a friend told me' even if you say she is a gyno (which who knows how competant she is), I doubt that fucking during the period would stop it all together, and cause a backup of period sauce.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2004, 01:47:13 PM
Quote
The old lady with the head scarf? (http://www.insurance-hospital.com/english/medical%20service/obgyn.htm)  :huh:
YESS !!! HABIBIIIIIIII!! how did u find her dataaa! omg this is soo funny



tom: shut the fuck up
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 09, 2004, 07:32:37 PM
I still don't get it.  My girlfriend says she's been told by her gyno it's perfectly safe.  Perhaps the field has differing opininons.

Not only that, but that lady's a muslim, right?  It's very possible she might have religous differences.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2004, 07:56:13 PM
nope not really. she, as much as the rest of her family, was raised in the US. and she was talking about this to both her 21 year old daughter, and her 17 year old daughter.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 10, 2004, 09:30:41 AM
I'm certain her credentials are perfectly in order, Faye, but remember you were the one who dismissed decades of research from highly-respected animal behavior specialists with an equal number of letters following their names in another thread with a derisive "Sez me."  Don't take it personally when others question the veracity of an obscure new theory.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 10, 2004, 10:10:58 AM
I have to agree with Nuri and Faye - that's pretty gross.  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 10, 2004, 10:47:05 AM
Quote
I'm certain her credentials are perfectly in order, Faye, but remember you were the one who dismissed decades of research from highly-respected animal behavior specialists with an equal number of letters following their names in another thread with a derisive "Sez me."  Don't take it personally when others question the veracity of an obscure new theory.
well thats true, but come on, tom is an asshole who is always trying to find an excuse to say the contrary of what i say, like he just did.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 10, 2004, 07:30:47 PM
It's not my fault most of the shit you post pisses me off and/or is horribly, horribly wrong.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 10, 2004, 07:33:20 PM
oh yes, like what?? the "indian" thing that at the end i was right? the period thing that of course, you know more about that than a fucking gynecologist?? go on and keep sucking your own dick.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Phagey on Sep 10, 2004, 07:36:27 PM
Quote
go on and keep sucking your own dick.
hmmm.. I wonder if Tom can teach me that.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 10, 2004, 07:37:24 PM
Quote
oh yes, like what?? the "indian" thing that at the end i was right? the period thing that of course, you know more about that than a fucking gynecologist?? go on and keep sucking your own dick.
You're not right about the Indian thing. It's a dumb, unaccurate title. The correct way to refer to em is to call them by thier tribal name, or say 'Native American'. It's like if we called you a 'nazi-ass smurf who like it up the ass' all the time. You wouldn't like like that, nor does it reflect who you are. It's a stupid title made by ignorant people who were more intent on gold than worrying about calling someone by thier propper name. Your Gyno in an idiot.

And if I COULD suck my own dick, I wouldn't be online.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 10, 2004, 07:42:40 PM
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/experts/wome...a=adid=10694112 (http://www.ivillagehealth.com/experts/womens/qas/0,,242103_836,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=10694112)

http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/61_love_tip.html (http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/61_love_tip.html)

http://www.cancerpage.com/cancernews/cancernews1402.htm (http://www.cancerpage.com/cancernews/cancernews1402.htm)

Quote
Can Sex Cause Cancer?

Fears that sex can cause cancer sometimes arise when the disease affects organs that are involved in sexuality—the penis, prostate, cervix, or breast, for example. However, except in rare circumstances involving a virus that can be transmitted sexually, sex itself cannot cause cancer.

Some studies have suggested that certain viruses which can be spread through sexual contact may increase a person’s risk for rare cancers such as squamous cell carcinoma of the cervix, vulva, penis or rectum, and Kaposi’s sarcoma in people with who are HIV positive.

For example, recent research has focused on the human papillomavirus (HPV), which causes genital warts but has also been implicated in cancers of the cervix, vulva, penis or rectum. The role of HPV and other viruses (including herpes II and cytomegalovirus) is not fully understood. Many people who are infected with these viruses never get cancer.

Studies have suggested that women who become sexually active before age 18 are at a slightly higher risk for cancer of the cervix. Also, men who are not circumcised appear to have a slightly higher tendency to develop cancer of the penis. But in both cases the links are not definitive and certainly may not apply to all individuals.

http://www.womenshealth.org/a/sex_during_p...d_pregnancy.htm (http://www.womenshealth.org/a/sex_during_period_pregnancy.htm)

All links, from reliable sites, even chell Web MD.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 10, 2004, 09:24:34 PM
omg you are the most asinine person i've ever "met". i wont even answer to your stupid posts anymore. its useless.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Karmarose on Sep 10, 2004, 09:32:39 PM
:blink:

Weird topic.

Having sex during a period does not cause backup of the fluids or cause cancer or anything like that.  That's just stupid.  -.-;;  The blood flow can't be backed up like that;  a woman's body is made to  get rid of the menstral fluids.
 I remember hearing a similar concern about tampons doing the same thing and that proved to be false.  

*folds a 5th paper crane*
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 10, 2004, 09:41:24 PM
I forgot all about tampons! This just proves either Faye made it up, and refuses to admit it, or the American education system proves it worth!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: The D on Sep 11, 2004, 11:02:49 PM
Off topic, Tom, you're lucky this time. Looks like Ivan the Terrible's going to miss Miami.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 11, 2004, 11:33:19 PM
I SHALL LIVE!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 11, 2004, 11:49:23 PM
Tampons go in your pussy.  They don't cause shit.  We've wasted at least a week of our lives listening to babbling by various members of the board.

Whether or not it's nasty to someone, it is not unhealthy.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 12, 2004, 12:14:25 AM
I think it's a lil nasty, though not to the point where I am grossed out.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 13, 2004, 10:11:35 AM
Quote
And if I COULD suck my own dick, I wouldn't be online.

 :lol: Good point!

Guys, if you want to try:

 - Lie on your back

 - Lift your legs up over your head and reach back wit your toes toward the floor

 - Now bend your knees so that your shins are resting flat on the floor on either side of your head.

This is a yoga position I do frequently, and I've always wondered if a guy who did it could....well, you know, so try it and report your results.  :P  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 13, 2004, 10:48:42 AM
o.o;
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 13, 2004, 11:15:03 AM
Quote
Quote
And if I COULD suck my own dick, I wouldn't be online.

 :lol: Good point!

Guys, if you want to try:

 - Lie on your back

 - Lift your legs up over your head and reach back wit your toes toward the floor

 - Now bend your knees so that your shins are resting flat on the floor on either side of your head.

This is a yoga position I do frequently, and I've always wondered if a guy who did it could....well, you know, so try it and report your results.  :P
or you can just take off a rib:D
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 13, 2004, 11:40:27 AM
Even with a rib removed, you have to be VERY flexible.  Most men don't achieve that amount of flexibility.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 13, 2004, 02:54:40 PM
My friend Alex can.  Of course, he has 11% body fat.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Phagey on Sep 13, 2004, 03:07:04 PM
Quote
My friend Alex can.  Of course, he has 11% body fat.
Full name, address, and work schedule for him, please.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 13, 2004, 04:18:36 PM
Quote
Quote
Quote
And if I COULD suck my own dick, I wouldn't be online.

 :lol: Good point!

Guys, if you want to try:

 - Lie on your back

 - Lift your legs up over your head and reach back wit your toes toward the floor

 - Now bend your knees so that your shins are resting flat on the floor on either side of your head.

This is a yoga position I do frequently, and I've always wondered if a guy who did it could....well, you know, so try it and report your results.  :P
or you can just take off a rib:D
Urban legend!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 13, 2004, 11:03:52 PM
Remove them all and then try.















What?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 14, 2004, 02:54:48 AM
Quote
Quote
And if I COULD suck my own dick, I wouldn't be online.

 :lol: Good point!

Guys, if you want to try:

 - Lie on your back

 - Lift your legs up over your head and reach back wit your toes toward the floor

 - Now bend your knees so that your shins are resting flat on the floor on either side of your head.

This is a yoga position I do frequently, and I've always wondered if a guy who did it could....well, you know, so try it and report your results.  :P
 :P .........Oaky...I can reach, but not really much else....

And keep in mind that I am exceptionally flexible not just for a man, but for a person, so you and I don't represent the standard limits of human stretchnitude..


Quote
or you can just take off a rib:D

If you are referring to whom I think you are referring, then shut up.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 02:56:54 AM
You mean me?  I had a rib removed after the war.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 14, 2004, 09:10:33 AM
Mmmm, ribs.

SOMEONE CALLS CHILIS!!!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 14, 2004, 09:37:49 AM
Quote
You mean me? I had a rib removed after the war.

So you can suck your own dick too?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 14, 2004, 09:47:52 AM
If she could, that'd be cool.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 14, 2004, 12:26:38 PM
yes, it would
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 14, 2004, 07:06:05 PM
Isn't her dick fucking huge anyway?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 14, 2004, 08:37:59 PM
PiCTURES!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 14, 2004, 09:50:33 PM
Quote
Quote
My friend Alex can.  Of course, he has 11% body fat.
Full name, address, and work schedule for him, please.
Um... I don't know his exact address but he lives on Edina (rhymes with vagina).  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 14, 2004, 09:55:19 PM
Is he the gay asian?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 14, 2004, 09:56:10 PM
Quote
Is he the gay asian?
No, Alex is caucasion.  Frank is the gay asian.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 14, 2004, 10:23:07 PM
Frank IS the gay asian!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 14, 2004, 11:36:15 PM
Quote
Isn't her dick fucking huge anyway?
You know it!  I make you look like an infant girl.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 15, 2004, 12:28:45 AM
Hell baby girls have bigger dicks than Fiero.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 15, 2004, 12:43:09 AM
:lol:

I wonder how you know...

>.>

<.<


KINKY!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Sep 15, 2004, 08:26:20 AM
According to the book I'm reading, the average man is better endowed than a full-grown male gorilla.   Also, the reason guys get off so fast is evolutionary as they became used to finishing quickly before another male pulled them off the woman to take their place.

There, an ego boost and a handy excuse in one post.  My good deed for the day.  :)  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 15, 2004, 09:30:57 AM
Even evolution doesnt believe the female orgasm exists!
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 15, 2004, 10:03:46 AM
It does if you do it right.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 15, 2004, 02:40:17 PM
thats what every man say :lol:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 15, 2004, 03:18:30 PM
not really...
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 18, 2004, 12:44:54 AM
So if the species lasts long enough, will man evolve to get off later?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: blanktoe on Sep 18, 2004, 12:49:27 AM
or women's middle fingera will evolve into penis.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 18, 2004, 12:52:41 AM
Or maybe the damn index finger will get longer.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 18, 2004, 03:37:21 PM
would u have to circumsize your finger too?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 19, 2004, 12:58:47 AM
I guess if it was Jewish or something.  Who am I to deny its religious freedoms?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 19, 2004, 02:23:26 AM
Fine. Be like that. Me and Max are jus tgonna start talking about tampons now. Or maybe ponies, and flowers.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Max Con on Sep 19, 2004, 02:29:29 AM
A dick as a middle finger would be pretty neat.

 
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bitch on Sep 19, 2004, 02:29:37 AM
Are you gonna talk about clothes and boys, too?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Sep 19, 2004, 10:06:52 AM
Quote
A dick as a middle finger would be pretty neat.
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "finger bang"
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: tomduo on Sep 19, 2004, 11:13:08 AM
Paper cuts would suck ass, though.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: MegatronYES on Sep 19, 2004, 11:32:47 AM
Oh my God. Oh my God. Ahh.  :o  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 19, 2004, 01:24:31 PM
did you...just had an orgasm??? :o  :huh:  
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 19, 2004, 09:11:27 PM
Quote
Fine. Be like that. Me and Max are jus tgonna start talking about tampons now.
Put one in your mouth like Rama did.
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: Fiero on Sep 19, 2004, 10:26:30 PM
Used or not?
Title: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Sep 19, 2004, 11:12:50 PM
Not, but if you want to top that, be my guest.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 15, 2009, 10:51:47 AM
But still wrapped if I remember right. I bet you even used it later you sicko.


Ah...see what happens when you are bored. Five year bump!
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 15, 2009, 02:18:13 PM
You should be banned.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 16, 2009, 12:36:03 AM
Yeah...but if Doug still get to run free....
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 16, 2009, 05:35:44 AM
Horrid grammar, too. All you need is a Naruto signature.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 16, 2009, 12:31:12 PM
That could be done.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 16, 2009, 06:31:33 PM
Believe it!
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: IDE on Jun 16, 2009, 09:43:37 PM
Ah 2004, that was a landmark INTERNET year.  I had just been crowned Ass-spank's rookie of the year and had no idea about the wankery going on behind the scenes.

I'd heard of nuri but it would be years later before I found this place.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 16, 2009, 09:52:41 PM
I never liked Transformers... yet I come here.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 17, 2009, 12:32:45 AM
What does this place have to do with Transformers?  The most Transformy it ever got was when Brian Drummond voiced Jetstorm on Beast Machines.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 17, 2009, 12:54:58 AM
I'd heard of nuri but it would be years later before I found this place.


So...just heard of Nuri. No mention of me?


*sigh*

I am so Garfunkel right now. -___-
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 17, 2009, 01:39:10 AM
You knew which one you were.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 17, 2009, 01:42:38 AM
I know, I know. I was always going to be the Ed to your Johnny, right from the start.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 17, 2009, 05:15:53 AM
What does this place have to do with Transformers?  The most Transformy it ever got was when Brian Drummond voiced Jetstorm on Beast Machines.
Everyone else seems to love them, I dunno.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 18, 2009, 10:23:06 PM
No more it seems than they love any other totem of geekery.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 18, 2009, 11:21:52 PM
And this place is full of geekery.

Transformers is only like my 3rd favorite toyline from the 80s.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: IDE on Jun 19, 2009, 12:01:09 AM
I'd heard of nuri but it would be years later before I found this place.


So...just heard of Nuri. No mention of me?


*sigh*

I am so Garfunkel right now. -___-

When I first stepped on the scene there was a thread called The Gooch Shack with the sub message "forget rama, ask the gooch!" which had 1000s of responses. So apparently you had a QnA thread at one point but were long gone by the time I got there.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 19, 2009, 12:48:57 AM
Yeah I think I did...but it was after Beck had left, and all I got was people asking me where she was. It was that Garfunkel effect I was talking about...I was only intreisting when I was around her, by myself not so much. People love Simom & Garfunkel. People love Paul Simon. No one loves Garfunkel. But never really bugged me all that much, since I was like a big thing on another board at the time, so if I needed an ego stroke I just went there.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 19, 2009, 09:13:12 PM
I'll stroke something for ya... but I'm gonna need about 3 fifty.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 21, 2009, 01:49:54 AM
350... owl pellets.  Because you have none.  :(






Well... now you have one.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 21, 2009, 09:40:47 AM
What is an owl pellet anyways? Does it get you free pr0n passwords?
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 21, 2009, 11:00:27 PM
I thought it could be one of two things. Either Owl food...or Owl Crap.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Sam on Jun 22, 2009, 02:36:21 PM
I'll stroke something for ya... but I'm gonna need about 3 fifty.

Well it was 'bout đat time when I noticed Tom was ţree stories tall and a monster from đe paleolithic era!  GOD DAMMIT, I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster!
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 22, 2009, 02:39:42 PM
Why the hell are you using germanic characters?! This is Rabbitinasuit, not the prose edda.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 22, 2009, 05:18:57 PM
He's bringing it back...like sexy. 
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 23, 2009, 12:54:40 AM
Owl Pellets are just karma here.  When you die, they carry over to your next life.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 23, 2009, 06:45:23 AM
He's bringing it back...like sexy. 
Like you did with this thread? It's not gonna work out in either occassion.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 23, 2009, 01:17:02 PM
Seems to be working pretty good so far.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Sam on Jun 23, 2009, 03:15:27 PM
I've yet to convert anyone, but even Jesus had to start somewhere.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 23, 2009, 05:12:15 PM
So...you're going to become a carpenter? 
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 23, 2009, 07:53:25 PM
I'll wait for the Mel Gibson directed snuff film.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Sam on Jun 25, 2009, 01:18:30 PM
I can build one hell of a deck.

Đough my parents didn't put up a gutter on đat side of đe house, and the roof line sends a torrent of water onto one particular board - which has caused it to warp severely and pull up đe one screw đat was holding đat end down (due to an unfortunate placement of the plank relative to đe joists).
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Jun 25, 2009, 01:37:20 PM
Sam's posts are reminding me of the Monty Python & the Holy Grail credits.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 25, 2009, 03:40:37 PM
I was bitten by a Wampa once...
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 25, 2009, 04:36:08 PM
So now you are a...Were-Wampa?
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 26, 2009, 06:06:47 AM
No... I got better.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Jun 26, 2009, 09:17:04 AM
*gives Tom "wipes Wampa's nose" credit*
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 26, 2009, 11:15:37 AM
So I didn't get sacked? WONDERFUL!
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Bernie AKA on Jun 26, 2009, 12:22:02 PM
What can I say?  Your fabulosity with Wampa snot is sheer genius.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 26, 2009, 01:47:01 PM
I've got sinus problems right now, so the Wampa snot has been overtaken by my own. I keep crying and coughing, too. Just a horrible day.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: The D on Jun 26, 2009, 02:55:15 PM
Owl Pellets are just karma here.  When you die, they carry over to your next life.

Well now I know I'm destined for hell... or a life as a sewer rat.

I saw this and thought "when did I get the ability to start threads again, and when did I do it?" and then "Who ressurected an old thread?" I can't even remember what this thread was about.


Funny that Rama mentions Simon & Garfunkel as I'm trying to get into their music....

Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 27, 2009, 09:08:03 AM
So...you're going to become a carpenter? 

Build me a new chest of drawers.  With a purty mirror on top.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 28, 2009, 01:50:06 AM
I smell trouble with both "Chest" and "Drawers" being mentioned.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 28, 2009, 10:09:07 PM
Do you wanna fuck me? I wanna fuck me.

*tucks it and dances to creepy techno*
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jun 29, 2009, 12:57:42 AM
You forgot the chap stick!
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jun 29, 2009, 01:59:08 PM
IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE SKIN! CHAPSTICK TOO! This is a very dry climate and people with your skin type need to keep their skin hydrated to avoid collagen loss.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jun 30, 2009, 11:18:21 PM
Wh-what happened here.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 12:18:35 AM
Ok...I said it was dangerous to say chest and Drawers as someone would make it all sexual, most likely IDE. Then Tom came in and did a little bit from Clerks 2 (awesome movie...I'd say it was better then Clerks but I'd get crucified if I admitted it) but he forgot the part that always make me laugh, that Jay puts on Chap Stick right before saying his line. Then Tom referenced Silence of the Lambs.


That should bring you up to speed.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jul 01, 2009, 12:48:25 AM
So are you saying that I shouldn't have passed up Clerks 2 when I saw it in the $5 Wal-mart bin?
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 12:53:55 AM
No...I didn't. Course I'd already seen it, but there are a lot of extras.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jul 01, 2009, 01:05:08 AM
Never cared a whole lot for extras.  Not these days.  Now anything that's not the movie is supposed to be some special extra.  Instead of being an extra like a prize in your cereal, it's an extra like cr0n in your poop.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 01:11:32 AM
Not even Commentary? Jay isn't drunk OR high on this one. Which he has been on all the other ones I've heard.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jul 01, 2009, 01:24:36 AM
Is that necessarily a good thing?  Although you reminded me, Schmoo almost hit a swaggering drunk tonight.  It was scary in a twisted fun way.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 01:28:41 AM
Well the movie is still worth the 5 even without all that stuff.

And what would have made it really fun would have been burying him outside of town and never speaking of it again. Course maybe that's just me.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jul 01, 2009, 06:29:19 AM
So are you saying that I shouldn't have passed up Clerks 2 when I saw it in the $5 Wal-mart bin?
...I would have bought two, one for regular viewing,  one to isolate Rosario Dawson dancing on top of Moobys.

I love when women don't wear bras. I hate bras so goddamned much. Why do I have to spend 40+ bucks per bra at VS? WHY!?
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 12:54:33 PM
So are you saying that I shouldn't have passed up Clerks 2 when I saw it in the $5 Wal-mart bin?
...I would have bought two, one for regular viewing,  one to isolate Rosario Dawson dancing on top of Moobys.

Oh yes...
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jul 01, 2009, 01:34:20 PM
Those meatsocks were bouncing in the best way.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: B E C K on Jul 01, 2009, 03:47:44 PM
So are you spending $5 for the movie or for Rosario Dawson?  Because those are two different things.  I don't have problems spending $5 for a movie I want in my collection but I mainly stick to buying stuff I'd watch over and over again, because I don't want the clutter involved in having something in my library that I barely touch.  The latter I equate with Merla buying that POS Journey to the Center of the Earth just to look at Brenden Fraiser's buffness.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Derrick on Jul 01, 2009, 07:31:25 PM
Oh, the donkey scene makes it rewatchable, as does Jay dancing.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 01, 2009, 11:05:40 PM
Porch Monkey...that was great too.

"I'm taking it back!"

And then the Lord of the Rings rant had me on the floor too. Seriously I think it might top Mallrats as my fav. Kevin Smith Movie.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Max Con on Jul 02, 2009, 07:00:40 AM
I can build one hell of a deck.

Đough my parents didn't put up a gutter on đat side of đe house, and the roof line sends a torrent of water onto one particular board - which has caused it to warp severely and pull up đe one screw đat was holding đat end down (due to an unfortunate placement of the plank relative to đe joists).


Sam talks like this in real life, too. I know - I was in a room with the guy.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Sam on Jul 02, 2009, 11:24:30 AM
It sounds exactly đe same!

And definitely buy Clerks 2, it's a solid movie.  Đe "Pillowpants" scene was also good.
Title: Re: *pities Tom*
Post by: Rama on Jul 02, 2009, 12:21:34 PM
Now I'm gonna have to watch this movie again.