The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: B E C K on Aug 13, 2016, 01:20:28 AM
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Incoming rant...
Kinda makes me sad that I feel nothing. "Let's just keep recycling George Lucas's ideas, everyone!" I'm sick of the Death Star and I'm stick of Vader. Oh, look, an AT-ACT. We've seen those things already. Yeah, I know the plot. That they're stealing Death Star plans. But it doesn't mean we even need the Death Star in the actual movie. With each St*r WarzzZZ movie, they continue to make a galaxy far, far away look postage-stamp small. Everything revolves around the same people, the same planets, the same technology.
And the two leads are the blandest-looking people ever. She's a pretty girl, but she's generic looking. Oh, look, it's a young, scrappy British girl as the lead. The same goddamn thing we had in the last freakin' movie. I really wish there was a non-white woman as the lead like Rinko or Rashida Jones or Michelle Rodriguez or Priyanka or Gugu Mbatha-Raw. But barring that, if they really REALLY just needed a white girl, why HER? I'd prefer Cara Delevingne's shitty eyebrows at this point and I can't stand that chick. Zooey. Mila. Jamie Alexander. Emma Stone. Even Lucy Lawless. *gasp* I know. She's almost 50. Soooo old. Can't have old women killing geek boners, can we?
Anyway, this film will break records and make billions. So whatever, I guess.
Bonus link where they analyze trailer:
http://www.theverge.com/2016/8/12/12451668/star-wars-rogue-one-trailer-2-analysis-break-down
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And I'm sick of the media talking about female St*r WarzzZZ leads. They are white females. Always white. Any woman that's not white or an alien is a unicorn. No doubt the Empire killed all the black, Asian, Latina, and First Nations women to stop the rebels from, like, breeding or the-fuck-ever. Maybe that's why they're looking for a non-white female lead for the Han Solo film. Putting down money they're gonna chose someone half-white, especially if she's a potential love interest. We'll see.
Here's young Han again. Young Han. YOUNG and SQUINTY.
(http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz245/Amanda_K_Jones/Junk/squinty-ass.jpg)
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It would be cool if we could get some non-human leads, honestly.
Played by white people under heavy makeup, naturally. :P
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Nah, that'd actually be nice for once (http://www.vulture.com/2016/04/hollywood-black-actors.html). Instead of casting Zoe Saldana and adding another chip on the color wheel to her resume. And why not an alien? Why are we in a fantastical outer space world and we never explore the POV of a damn alien? They could've made some cute sentient little fucker and then merchandised the shit outta it. They have no imagination at all.
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You're right though, it looks super white. Forest Whitaker and two Asian guys in a sea of white.
Wait a minute. Forest White-taker? Taking food out of white actors' mouths! For shame. :fingershake:
Seriously, did you notice he has way more hair in this one compared to the last? Do you think he gets a haircut during the course of the film? Or maybe his hair was the catalyst for the re-shoots!
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No, I didn't notice. On the plus side, I now know where all of my extra brillo pads went. You know, I've liked Forest Whitaker in one movie. One. The Crying Game. He died in that movie. Did that help, you think?
Forest Whitaker and two Asian guys in a sea of white.
There's also Mexican actor Diego Luna in the male lead role. (I think he's half-white for what it's worth it but it's not like he's Pati Jinich white as a result.)
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If I can't tell you're Mexican just by looking at you, you're not Mexican enough.
For reals though, racial discrimination is very important to me and I need to know when to employ it!
For reals for reals though, dude needs to shout "ĦAy!" before and after all his lines or something. Give me something to work with.
Hey, Alan Twodicks voices the droid! He's super white.
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I'm actually looking forward to Rogue One....but then I was looking forward to The Force Awakens. So we will see
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You didn't like Force Awakens at all?
I liked it well enough when I went to see it, but I tried rewatching it recently on Netflix, and almost immediately was like, "Nah... that's okay."
I mean, I definitely want to see what happens next, but the expectations are now firmly grounded in reality.
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I'll be sad if Rama likes Rogue One because then there won't be a rant for me to enjoy.
I bet people would freak if Diego Luna talked like Pati Jinich in the movie. I keep mentioning Pati Jinich. She's a Mexican chef. I'll admit it: I mock the fuck out of her accent at home.
Hey, Alan Twodicks voices the droid! He's super white.
Heh heh, "twodicks." Thanks, joe. Now I'm going to call him that forever.
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You didn't like Force Awakens at all?
Not one bit.
And my hope for Rogue One is coming from a return something that looks and feels like good old SW. TFA tried that and it worked a little on me, but not as much as this is.
Course I'm not basing that on any story elements. I've tried to stay spoiler free so I don't know much about what this movie is about other the stealing the Death Star Plans. Which I don't mind the Death Star here, because it is THE Death Star and not a clone of it like we got from TFA. That was one step to far, but this is ok with me. I know this plucky band of rebels aren't gonna blow it up, because Luke does that right after this movie.
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If they hadn't fallen back on it again and then ripped it off for TFA, I'd be with you on that. As it is, it's an overdone concept imo.
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omg, ppl are already theorizing that she's Rey's mom. Does the timeline they (Disney, Lucas, whoever) established even support that?
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It is possible...but not probable. This girl looks to be in her mid 20's. So it could happen...BUT Rey looks to be around 19 when she leaves Jukka. Since TFA is set 30 years after ROTJ whoever Rey's mom is would have had to have given birth to her in the time between ROTJ and TFA, since the OT only takes place over like a 5 year period and this happens right before that. So if she is Rey's mom we won't see her knocking boots in this film, but more likely around 10 years after this movie. But is possible, I just don't think she is.
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What if she's another Mary Sue AND Rey's mother? Does that mean we can call her Mama Sue? :jack:
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The timeline is already fucked. I know this has been pointed out ad nauseam, but in the time it takes Luke to grow into a young man, Ewan McGregor becomes Alec Guinness. The original Death Star took FOREVER to build. And I'm sure there's plenty more, but the point is Lucas and his cronies totally didn't bother.
So if Disney decides that, "Hey! The girl in our first movie? She's totally the daughter of the girl in our second movie! Who would have thought?" I wouldn't at all be surprised.
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Being white doesn't bother me as much as being British. You'd think half the damn world is made of limeys as much as they like to cast characters with one of a number of English accents.
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I know I said it in another post somewhere but, goddamn it, I'm sick of the same British accent being the go-to voice of fantasy worlds. Can't they do something else? I'd take everyone speaking with a damn Geordie accent at this point. It's still British, but at least it's not the same damn kind they always use.
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Okay, so in this particular instance (Rogue One), the British thing is already kind of established. This is a prequel, and all the bad guys in the original trilogy sounded British, so...
It would be kind of weird if all the Imperials suddenly sounded like they crawled out of the Deep South, yeah? Entertaining, sure! But continuity is important.
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We don't talk strange down here. Everyone else talks strange.
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Okay, so in this particular instance (Rogue One), the British thing is already kind of established. This is a prequel, and all the bad guys in the original trilogy sounded British, so...
It would be kind of weird if all the Imperials suddenly sounded like they crawled out of the Deep South, yeah? Entertaining, sure! But continuity is important.
It's a pretty easy fix actually. If they had to travel elsewhere to steal the plans from the Empire. Like an outpost, colony, or something. Or the main baddies could've been alien allies of the Empire or a party contracted by the Empire. "Everybody's British so let's keep doing that" is just lazy. Like, I know you were making a joke, but some sort of bounty hunter or something that sounds like he's from the Deep South could've been pretty bad-ass. Like Sawyer from Lost crossed with Gambit and Boba Fett. The main rebel chick being from some other planet or region and sounding all "Southern US" could've been something really interesting, too. Who doesn't want space cowboys?
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They actually did a cowboy bounty hunter in Clone Wars, he looked and sounded kick ass, but he always went out like a chump, because... well, the story demanded it, I guess.
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Like Darth Maul. Man, I was so disappointed in that guy. He had me hyped and they barely used that bitch.
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Didn't they just end up using him as a tool to make Palpatine look cool? Like, Palpatine went all Bruce Lee on him or something? That final season was mostly good other than the ending.
Sorry, not the final season. The final season was that Lost Episodes trash. Should have stayed lost, holy crap. Gollum Yoda, Jesus Christ.
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Yeah you get out in the Outer Rim and then everyone now sounds like an Aussie. :raiseeyebrow:
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Man, neither poster is good but the Korean poster is really terrible. (http://www.ign.com/articles/2016/09/16/rogue-one-a-star-wars-story-international-posters-revealed)
Link to pages and some images from a visual guide book that has since been scrapped. (https://jedi-bibliothek.de/blog/2016/05/charakterinfos-und-viele-bilder-zu-rogue-one/) Supposedly, "a lot of the information isn't even correct." Or at least that's what some talking head told a journo at HitFix.
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Great, and scored by the guy who did the scores for the Star Trek reboots. MEH. (http://www.theverge.com/2016/9/16/12939314/star-wars-rogue-one-composer-michael-giacchino-alexandre-desplat)
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Confirmed as "dark and edgy." (http://www.bustle.com/articles/184473-rogue-one-star-riz-ahmed-promises-the-film-will-be-edgier-than-previous-star-wars-films) Bleh. Don't cut me with all of that edge, son.
Confirmed as "gritty." (http://www.cinemablend.com/news/1557110/how-rogue-one-will-be-different-from-other-star-wars-movies-according-to-one-of-the-actors) Please, don't chafe me with all of that grit, dude.
Confirmed reshoots to lighten the tone. (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/star-wars-rogue-one-enlists-899530) Oh no, don't blind me with all of that light, bro.
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They could turn those into awesome taglines for the next trailer.
"So gritty you can sand a land speeder! So edgy you can skin a talking gopher! So dark you need a Mag-lite saber!"
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I'm just trying to imagine some exec's head-space here: "We need gritty, but family friendly. Dark, but light... in tone. Not in color. Those should all be desaturated shades of gray. So... I want the movie to be really edgy, but we still need to sell posters and
dolls action figures at Target so, yeah, don't really harp on death or even mention sex or politics. I mean, this is St*r WarzzZZ ffs. Can we put more quips in this? It'd be great if we can make a few of these jokes 'go viral,' as the kids say. Yeah, give them to Alan Twodicks. He's a funny chap and the franchise really needs a smart ass robot. Ooh, I know. We can end the movie with a twist. Don't put in any hints, that way no one will see it coming."
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Oh, so apparently, the two Asian guys in this movie are friends. Of course they are. There can't be two Asian characters in this movie that are complete strangers. That would just be weird, amirite? :raiseeyebrow:
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https://www.yahoo.com/movies/rogue-one-writers-subtly-protest-trump-with-rebellion-safety-pin-logo-195929517.html
Heh... hahahaha. Oh man, I find this shit funny. Look, I hate Tr@mp, 'k, but even I smell the bullshit here. These writers could've just made their avatars safety pins and made their personal statements against Big Orange w/o dragging in SW. Their statements make things worse. Oy vey.
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I wasn't planning on seeing it to start with, but if I were that would have been the end of it. I don't care what anyone believes, feels, or expresses politically, but when you parade your opinions through consumer media I'm actively turned off. I walked out of a gospel concert and demanded a refund once because the promoters allowed a conservative political candidate on-stage for a plug when he was first running for governor. I'm a conservative, but that was the end of the show for me. Furthermore, I made it a point to never vote for him. I hope he runs for something after his governorship is over just so I can not vote for him again.
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The comments in the article are a lot of Tr@mp supporters saying they're not gonna see it now. I'm even more interested in the box office numbers for this film now. But fuck, if Rogue One actually flops, I'm gonna be forced to accept Dump's numbers as legit. Because only a massive amount of defection could cause a SW-anything to bomb,
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There's a Special Edition "Nissan Rogue One." (http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2016/11/17/rogue-one-star-wars-limited-edition/93993830/) Because what better way is there to show yer a rebel than by selling out to the man and driving a Nissan? Sometimes I think "shit, Disney's really whoring out St*r WarzzZZ big time" because any piece of crap you can put your hands on has a St*r WarzzZZ edition. But then I see dumb things like a furry Chewbacca gift box at the grocery store and I'm all "ha ha, that's awesome. I want to get a gift in a brown shag box wearing a non-functional bandolier."
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https://www.swisschalet.com/menu/chicken/go-rogue-festive-special
https://www.swisschalet.com/menu/rotisseriebeef/go-rogue-festive-rotisserie-beef-special
https://www.swisschalet.com/menu/chicken/go-rogue-festive-1-3-rack-combo-special
Look, they even made the rogue/rouge mistake in the description on all three items -- truly an internet staple!
Anyway, are there Swiss Chalets anywhere in the US? I have to assume they're strictly Canadian. I wish I could find the actual TV ads they've been running for their St*r WarzzZZ promotion, because they are all kinds of "Where am I? What is this?" surreal.
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"Rouge One cup." Pfft. :P I thought you were making a joke with Rogue being in the name of the special by coincidence but it's a legit tie-in. Jesus Louise-us. I've never heard of Swiss Chalets but then again, nothing named "Swiss Chalet" is gonna make it in a bibles-and-guns state like mine.
Not really Rogue One related but SW-related as this is the new defacto SW thread, I guess: In my book, this is awful fucking news... As if squinty Han weren't enough, Emilia Clarke has been cast in the Han Solo solo flick. Another fuckin' petite British brunette. Because Amidala, Rey, Felicity Jones weren't fucking enough. The collective hard-ons from GoT keep trying to make Emilia Clarke a thing and won't accept that she has all the chops and poise of a sack of coal. She has better actors and CG dragons around her to make her look good ffs.
Looking shit up, apparently Donald "white people please looooove me" Glover is Lando. When the fuck did that happen? I guess they could do worse. I wish they had picked someone with more charisma.
Anyway, I was concerned that Emilia's part was the same part that was supposed to go to a non-white woman but people online are saying that it's probably not because the part is question is actually one that's been made canon already in the comic books and that character's clearly black and as un-Emilia Clarkey as possible. But shit. If they wanted another British woman, couldn't they pick Katie Leung, Indira Varma, Archie Panjabi, Gemma Chan, or someone like that. Nathalie Emmanuel was in GoT, you could've picked her. They can't use the whole "we need a bigger name" nonsense on something like SW because there are waaay bigger names than Emilia Clarke that I'm sure would pay to be in a SW film. And "Han Solo" is already the big name of the film. They could cast a bunch of debut actors in it and it would still rake in teh millions.
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Emilia Clarke was fucking awful in that Terminator movie, holy shit. I mean, not to single her out, she was definitely in good company there.
I've never really thought of Donald Glover like that before, but now that you mention it, he is kind of Wayne Brady-ish, isn't he?
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Ha ha, yeah, I've seen people describing him as the new Wayne Brady. Being casted as a black Republican that sleeps with the main character in the show Girls helps nothing. I've seen some of this stand-up, too, and he totally has the vibe.
Also, laughing at this:
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Yeah, that's kind of messed up. They do both seem a tad diminutive. I'm thinking of Glover next to Joel McHale in Community, and Ehrenreich next to Brolin or Fiennes in Hail, Caesar!
But that can be adjusted through film trickery. Remember that Hutcherson kid in the Hunger Games movies? Jen Lawrence towers above him IRL.
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They can use shoe lifts (a.k.a. man high heels) and a phone book like Tom Cruise.
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They really want to beat this force thing into our heads, don't they? "The force..." "The force..." "The force..." I don't suppose we could get a SW story without the goddamn force, could we? I'd imagine that could be the Han movie, but already betting they're gonna shoehorn the force, the Death Star, and Vader into that one, too.
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Seriously. "The Force" is supposed to be a Jedi thing, and the common people are supposed to view the Jedi as fairy tale-spouting kooks at this point in the timeline, aren't they?
It's like if... during the Vietnam War, all the American soldiers greeted each other with shit like, "Jesus loves you!" or "God is good!"
No. Fuck that shit. These "rebels" shouldn't be spewing religious nonsense at each other. Perfect example of the story serving THE HALLOWED FRANCHISE and not the other way around.
I bought my tickets today.
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Seriously. "The Force" is supposed to be a Jedi thing, and the common people are supposed to view the Jedi as fairy tale-spouting kooks at this point in the timeline, aren't they?
Yeah, it's supposed to be all mystical and shit. Like two degrees from being a fuckin' wizard. Instead, it's become some sort of psuedo-Christianity archetype where everyone knows about. Don't they realize that by everybody always harping on about the force, it loses its specialness and mystery? Nah, of course they don't because it's probably a bunch of suits grabbing at stacks of money. George Lucas must be rolling around in his grave. Oh, wait, he's still alive. Did I just jinx him?
I bought my tickets today.
Be sure to tell us all about it. I hope Rama hates this one even more than TFA. He only half-delivered on the rantyness last time.
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...it's become some sort of psuedo-Christianity archetype where everyone knows about.
People would freak out if the movie was inundated with the plan of salvation and Gospel preaching. Which I'd personally rather hear than this eastern mysticism shit, but in a movie about massive space stations and cyborg enemies and dogfights...why do you need to hear them prating on about a an ancient religion that the vast majority of in-universe folk supposedly think is malarkey?
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I didn't mean "pseudo-Christianity" in that it's similar to Christianity's tenets but becoming similar to me in its in-universe prevalence. I liked the force being a flavor for a sci-fi fantasy, not a concept at the forefront that keeps getting thrown at the viewer. We already have two characters connected to the force in this movie and I wouldn't be surprised if there were more. Rogue One was the perfect opportunity to pull away from the force shit for a while and explore other concepts.
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I'm just saying it'd be funny to have Jawas running around with Jack Chick tracts and shit.
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I always saw Jawas as being like little Jehovah's Witnesses. I bet they don't celebrate birthdays either.
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I'm sure a buch of them sure could have used a blood transfusion in that first film.
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So maybe the Stormtroopers shot up the Sandcrawler because they were trying to shove Watchtowers down their throats.
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I've taken the Watchtower so many times but I can't said I've ever read it. I just do it to be polite. Or maybe in the hopes that they don't return and in greater numbers.
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One time I flipped through it for kicks, and they were talking about the Whore of Babylon, complete with illustration, and I was like, "Damn, Watchtower! You're alright."
Although nothing beats her SMT depiction:
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Hmmm, could be whore-ier, I suppose.