The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: B E C K on Mar 14, 2013, 05:49:03 PM

Title: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Mar 14, 2013, 05:49:03 PM
Lethargy, scratchy throat, soreness, hot/cold sweats... oh, yeah, I also dreamt I was a communist.  Like one of those ones that sings as I work.  Like a communist "7 dwarves" but taller.  So I called in sick to work today.  It seems like a cold to me.  I dunno.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Mar 14, 2013, 06:03:26 PM
I always take the entire week off after I had a dream where I was a communist
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Mar 14, 2013, 06:36:57 PM
It's not less if you're a singing communist?  I mean, that's better, right?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Mar 14, 2013, 06:48:58 PM
No, that's way worse.
If I were you I wouldn't come into work any more for at least the rest of the month
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Mar 14, 2013, 08:52:28 PM
Oh.  Well, that won't do.  What if I come in body but not in spirit?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rama on Mar 15, 2013, 12:19:16 AM
I think this is how the movie Jacob's Ladder starts.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Mar 15, 2013, 03:18:35 AM
omg menopause Nuri
god bless
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rama on Mar 15, 2013, 12:35:39 PM
At 31?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Mar 15, 2013, 03:42:46 PM
At 31?
its called a joke

Also, i thought she was a bit older than 31?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Mar 15, 2013, 09:03:17 PM
Yeah, by my count she's *real* old.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Mar 15, 2013, 10:10:33 PM
I'm 32 but I'm actually older.  For single women, there's a different formula.  ((#Children * π) * #Baby Daddies) + Biological Age.  In the event there are no children, use (#Residing Cats * π) + Biological Age.  No, no, wait.  Then you subtract total number of Lords of the Rings Extended Edition viewings.  Meh, still in my fifties.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rama on Mar 16, 2013, 12:47:52 AM
No...no...if you are 32 that means I'm.......33.....shit.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Mar 16, 2013, 07:57:28 AM
I just turned...13?

Hah! I'm younger than IDE now!
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Mar 18, 2013, 12:25:54 PM
Christ, am I the oldest person here?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Chopper Face 69 on Mar 18, 2013, 01:47:33 PM
35. :(
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Mar 18, 2013, 06:31:51 PM
13 squirrel years is 35 in human years.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Mar 18, 2013, 10:16:00 PM
Bernie, Merla, and IDE would've all been older if they hadn't already gone to the Undying Lands.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Mar 19, 2013, 03:13:50 AM
Bernie, Merla, and IDE would've all been older if they hadn't already gone to the Undying Lands.
Its called Valinor
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rama on Mar 19, 2013, 10:44:12 PM
I'll believe Bernie and Merla went there, but I think IDE caught some uncleaness from dirty Orc he met at the Green Dragon.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Apr 07, 2013, 10:19:26 PM
Bah!  Who hasn't?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Fiero on Apr 12, 2013, 10:56:21 AM
I'm 28 and I feel like I'm going to die any day now from old age.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 12, 2013, 03:39:22 PM
stfu
im 29 and i read somewhere that 28 is the best age for women. WELL THAT SHIP HAS SAILED NOW, HASNT IT
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rama on Apr 13, 2013, 08:01:07 PM
Time for a sex change Fiero.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Apr 13, 2013, 10:52:32 PM
Dude, you're gonna be a hoooooooooot chick.  Make sure to keep the facial hair.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Fiero on Apr 16, 2013, 03:01:14 PM
Hey, at least I'll be able to get a job travelling the world.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Apr 16, 2013, 04:33:01 PM
You want to be a stewardess?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Apr 16, 2013, 06:40:54 PM
Omg, get me discounted tickets somewhere.  That would be so awesome.  Do it with your beard.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 17, 2013, 03:35:34 AM
You want to be a stewardess?
I think he was referring to becoming a porta potty. A ho that gets paid big bucks by the arabs so they can shit on them

Almost same as stewardess but they dont wear uniforms
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Apr 17, 2013, 05:47:43 AM
What kind of plane ticket would I need to be allowed to shit on a stewardess?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 17, 2013, 08:10:56 AM
First class on Etihad Airways
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: B E C K on Apr 17, 2013, 09:48:40 AM
Or any class on Poop Airlines Arabia.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 18, 2013, 05:18:44 PM
I nearly shit on an air waitress on the way to KC last week, but it was because the ride was so hellish.
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 19, 2013, 03:11:42 PM
Why was that≥? also what airline? actually nevermind, all US airlines suck balls
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rumble on Apr 19, 2013, 03:37:51 PM
All airlines suck balls. If God wanted us to fly he'd given us jetpacks
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 22, 2013, 06:36:58 AM
All airlines suck balls. If God wanted us to fly he'd given us jetpacks
Change all airlines to all american airlines plus some european ones. Ive always have positive experiences with airlines from 3rd world countries. Except North Eastern Airlines from China, but is China even a 3rd world country now?
Title: Re: Symptoms include...
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 23, 2013, 09:54:28 PM
American Airlines can bite a nut.

Though, in their defense, we were traveling over a massive line of thunderstorms that had DFW flights grounded for two hours.