The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: The D on Mar 07, 2005, 04:59:57 PM
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Freedom! *humps the ground*
I was arrained today. I voluntarily turned myself in, and they handcuffed me and put me in a jail cell. They had me strip down to nothing, did a quick patdown, and then gave me a orange jumpsuit that went great with my brown eyes.
The cell wasn't barred. It was a series of concrete rooms with giant steel doors on rails, and shatterproof windows. The toilet was in a corner behind a brick wall. There were stone benches to sit or sleep on. The guys there seemed relatively friendly, talking and laughing and stuff. I had to eat lunch there.. two slices of dry bread, two cold hot dogs, some shitty beans, an apple, and some crappy cold french fries. It's too bad Martha Stewart wasn't there, she needed to work on the decor and menu.
About midday they had my arrainment hearing. At first my attorney didn't show up because the trial was early and they slapped me with a $7500 full bond. Then he showed up and they gave me a 10% bond. The charges are what scared me the most... they're charging me with First Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct, which is basically unconsensual sex with penetration.. or in other words rape. And it carries a maximum sentence of life in prison.
That's bullshit. I'm too scrawny and weak to be a rapist. And I'd never force myself on anyone.
Oh, well, I could afford $750, and was about to pay it when I found out my father had bailed me out. Seems there's some hostility between the accuser's family and mine, and my family's about to start a feudin.
But I had to spend an entire day in a cell, which wasn't that fun... I hope I don't have to stay in another. :angry:
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... This thread makes me sad and angry. The way you were treated and the way you responded I mean.
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Did the girl say she didnt consent?
That scrawny line would work well in court, use that.
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Get the family members to testify the mom is a douche.
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They probably will.
It was funny, the first cell I was held in was with a bunch of black dudes in for not paying child support, and the one wouldn't stop talking about chicken wings. :lol:
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Be with your black brothers!
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What's a Peodphile? And Jesus Christ, a jail cell. I can't even imagine.
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And I'd be careful with the ground. You don't need another charge there.
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Word.
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What's a Peodphile? And Jesus Christ, a jail cell. I can't even imagine.
pedophile are the guys who have sex with children and/or like child pr0n. bad.
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:D
Oh well, D. Just bear this in mind fifty years from now when you're telling your grandkids about how you got cornholed by some tossed salad man in the county lockup.
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Don't forget the eight stiches he needed after the shower incident.
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Get the family members to testify the mom is a douche.
Since the girl is under sixteen, what she says doesn't matter. Automatically illegal.
Yeah. Seriously.
if she was sixteen or seventeen, the same shti would have happened because the girl's guardians have to press charges directly inoder for the state to do so.
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Actually, at seventeen, they tend to drop all or most of that. Back when my sister lied about all that shit, we came to that realization.
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I call D's entertainment system!
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That'll probably go to some thirteen year old girl.
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What's a Peodphile? And Jesus Christ, a jail cell. I can't even imagine.
pedophile are the guys who have sex with children and/or like child pr0n. bad.
Yes, now what's a peodphile? :D
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...
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Old news!
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peodiphile is how Pedophiles spell "Pedophile" because they think it makes them all cool and stuff. Yo.
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What's a Peodphile? And Jesus Christ, a jail cell. I can't even imagine.
pedophile are the guys who have sex with children and/or like child pr0n. bad.
Yes, now what's a peodphile? :D
oo hehe sorry i didnt notice that mistake
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I wonder if Doug will try and act like he's from the streets in prison...
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Memorize the Fresh Prince theme. They'll love it.
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I don't remember ever actively committing the song to memory. I just woke up one morning... and I knew it!
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my Brother knows that song by heart. I hate it.
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i know it in spanish:-D
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There's an extra verse where he's on a plane, I think it may have only been in a couple of episodes. I'm not familiar with that verse. <_<
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Damn! B) Everyone forgot the plane verse!
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Now this is the story all about how,
My life got flipped, turned upside down,
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.
In West Philadelphia I was born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days.
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin all cool,
And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school.
When a couple of guys who were up to no good,
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood.
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared,
And said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
I begged and pleaded with her the other day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kissin’ and she gave me my ticket
I put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of bel-air livin’ like?
Hmm this might be alright!
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near,
The license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror.
If anything I could say that this cat was rare,
But I thought "Nah forget it, Yo home to Bel Air."
I pulled up to the house about seven or eight,
and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell ya later."
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there,
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
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And who would have thought that Will Smith would make it big in Hollywood?
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There's something I don't like about him. He should've been gayer in "Six Degrees of Separation" for starters.
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I liked him in Hitch, but I think he tries far to hard to make himself seem like some sort of badass.
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No, Will Smith has two roles. He's either the cocky rookie or the experienced smartass. Try to deny that.
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And it's still one more than Julia Roberts.
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I rue the day that I see Will Smith play the "dumb bitch".
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What about Eddie Murphy?
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He's got a few roles he can play. Conservative father-figure with a nutty side, nutty asshole with conservative side and poorly acted player.
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Eddie Murphy > Will Smith. "I want to party all the time...."
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With hookers.
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Yeah, where are Will Smith's hookers? Further more, Jada Pinkett Smith > Will Smith.
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And how!
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Will Smith needs to get spontaneously eaten by a shark. It would really help his career.
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It would also give Hanna Barbera a serious excuse to dust off the Jabber Jaw license!
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Who would voice Jabber Jaw?
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Jack Black.
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The only time I've ever laughed at Jack Black was when he got his arm blown off in The Jackal. That was funny.
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You just gave me a reason to see that movie.
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It also has Bruce Willis.
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Yeah but isn't the "hero" Richard Gere?
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Yeah, we'll just don't watch the last ten minutes of the movie.
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Richard Gere needs to die in more movies. A shark would be too good for him.
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No... How about Richard Gere in "GERBIL'S REVENGE"!!!
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I would love to see Dick in the King Kong remake as an extra who gets squished.
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Alas, that spot is reserved for Phil LaMarr...
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He better use the Static Shock voice when dying.
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Yeah... "Kong'll put a shock to my syst---".
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I wanna see Sin City. It looks 15 ways of good, and has Bruce Willis.
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And Jessica Alba!
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Yay and BOO.
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And Jessica Alba!
And how.
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Blech.
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Jealous?
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Of her body, yes. Her face, hells no. I'd rather look at a baboon's ass.
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<_< You're jealous...
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I'll second that.