The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: The D on Feb 07, 2005, 10:53:38 PM

Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: The D on Feb 07, 2005, 10:53:38 PM: For the past week, a coworker at work has been hassling me to go to her "Christian Fellowship" at her college. I told her no every time, but I had to ask her a favor, and the only way she would do it is if I went to this meeting. In order to get her to shut up, I've agreed.

I don't know why she thinks this group is the coolest thing. She talks about it all the time, how fun it is. All they do is sing hymns and listen to a pastor preach. Boring.

I'm not even sure why she wants me to go. She might have a crush on me, but I'm not interested in her (especially since her emo/goth glasses are such a turnoff). Or she thinks I'm a heathen and is trying to save my soul.

Maybe I can make the excuse that if I step in the room I'll catch on fire.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: MegatronYES on Feb 07, 2005, 10:57:09 PM: The problem with thatis that Jesus is not the messiah because the very idea is an absurd and childish concept.

But maybe I'm just nitpicking.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 07, 2005, 11:42:04 PM: I feel ripped off. I thought this was gonna be like the Fellowship of the Ring.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Feb 08, 2005, 06:53:23 AM: I thought Doug was joining a cult.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Merla on Feb 08, 2005, 07:11:49 AM: You should go. Yeah go and get saved or something.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bernie AKA on Feb 08, 2005, 04:35:41 PM: Quote
Maybe I can make the excuse that if I step in the room I'll catch on fire.

Too bad you're not a professional pyrotechnics stuntman. That would be amusing. :P
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Evil Monkey-Tom on Feb 08, 2005, 05:36:08 PM: Go there and preach that Jesus was either gay or an alien (lotsa evidence for both), and see if she asks you again.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Phagey on Feb 08, 2005, 06:50:27 PM: Quote
Go there and preach that Jesus was either gay or an alien (lotsa evidence for both), and see if she asks you again.
Pfff. Fuck no. Jesus was a robot and you know it.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bitch on Feb 09, 2005, 08:43:21 AM: Jesus was the first international terrorist. You know it's true.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Phagey on Feb 09, 2005, 01:38:12 PM: Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bitch on Feb 09, 2005, 01:50:11 PM: XD!
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Feb 09, 2005, 02:38:07 PM: Quote
Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!
I believe Phage, because who would ever lie on the internet?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Phagey on Feb 09, 2005, 05:33:47 PM: Quote

Quote
Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!
I believe Phage, because who would ever lie on the internet?
Precisely. Now if you send me 50 bucks I can share the secret of life with you, and remember, Phage would never lie to you.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bitch on Feb 09, 2005, 05:55:49 PM: I'll tell you the answer to life, the universe, and everything for a hundred bucks.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 09, 2005, 06:23:34 PM: Bah! I have various online quizzes to tell me these things.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Faye Valentine on Feb 09, 2005, 06:34:14 PM: Quote
I'll tell you the answer to life, the universe, and everything for a hundred bucks.
I'll do it for a bottle of smirnoff
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: MegatronYES on Feb 10, 2005, 03:07:32 AM: .....................................What else would yo do for a bottle of Smirnoff?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Evil Monkey-Tom on Feb 10, 2005, 08:17:20 AM: Watch the new Girls Gone Wild to find out. Hint, it involves either a drunk coed, a 12-inch cucumber, or a small mammal. GUESS WHICH ONE!!!
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bernie AKA on Feb 10, 2005, 08:38:17 AM: I'm guessing the cucumber will hold out for more money from Salads Gone Wild and vote for the coed. The mammal was at DS's birthday party and therefore has an alibi.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Feb 10, 2005, 09:07:54 AM: For a sqwerl, "gerbiling" takes a whole new meaning.

I can not corroborate his alibi. Toker Gerbil is OUT of the club.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: The D on Feb 10, 2005, 04:01:50 PM: Meeting's tonight.

Gotta finish getting my fake demon wings and flamethrowers ready before I go.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Feb 10, 2005, 05:32:22 PM: Glue little devil horns to your forehead and cover them up with a beanie.

And then pretend to get offended by something, pull the hat off and start shouting in foreign tongue.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Faye Valentine on Feb 10, 2005, 08:38:50 PM: Quote
.....................................What else would yo do for a bottle of Smirnoff?
i sing
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 10, 2005, 11:18:43 PM: Quote
Meeting's tonight.

Gotta finish getting my fake demon wings and flamethrowers ready before I go.
Before you go? WHY? What happened to avoiding offending them and getting offended yourself and politely declining?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Extra Zero on Feb 10, 2005, 11:43:41 PM: *waits for dumb response.*
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 11, 2005, 12:16:41 AM: *waits for subsequent smart ass replies to dumb response that result in whining*
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Bernie AKA on Feb 11, 2005, 08:42:55 AM: He should have told her he was having menstrual cramps and cried if she wasn't sympathetic.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: The D on Feb 14, 2005, 02:48:03 PM: It wasn't so dumb. They sang new age christian music and talked about not worrying about life and letting your life revolve around christ, blah blah.

I hope they don't expect me to come again, I'll just tell them I'm busy on Thursdays and make up some excuse. Like getting drunk and sleeping with gay guys...wonder how they'll take that?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Feb 14, 2005, 03:11:18 PM: Well, to quote Nancy Reagan, "just say no" to going at all. Who cares if you don't want to go?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Evil Monkey-Tom on Feb 14, 2005, 03:29:18 PM: Quote
It wasn't so dumb. They sang new age christian music and talked about not worrying about life and letting your life revolve around christ, blah blah.

I hope they don't expect me to come again, I'll just tell them I'm busy on Thursdays and make up some excuse. Like getting drunk and sleeping with gay guys...wonder how they'll take that?
You do it too?
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 14, 2005, 11:43:37 PM: I really don't think their world's gonna fall apart if you tell them you don't wanna go. Jeez.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Extra Zero on Feb 14, 2005, 11:45:41 PM: No, they'll leave a burning lower-case "t" in his front yard.
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: B E C K on Feb 14, 2005, 11:56:34 PM: I saw a truck today that had a bunch of lights on it. It reminded me of the were-car episode of Futurama and it had a cross between the 'eyes'. Creepy!
Title: coerced into going to fellowship meeting
Post by: Extra Zero on Feb 15, 2005, 12:19:49 AM: Indeed.