The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Bernie AKA on Aug 09, 2004, 03:00:28 PM
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Alright, let me preceed this with a little info. My agency handles millions of dollars in business every day. We write a metric shitload of Houston's biggest & wealthiest corporations and have a showplace of an office with marble floors in the entrance, conference room with mega-skyline view on the 19th floor, etc, with frequent visits from clients and company representatives. I think the youngest person employed out of about 200 is the mail guy, and he's 22. IOW, all the women here are older and presumably adults.
Or are they? E-memo just received from HR:
At the request of your co-workers it's time for another discussion on the proper use of the ladies restroom. When you have to use the restroom, please treat our restrooms as you would the bathrooms in your home - we want our restrooms to be nice and not like the ones in Wal-Mart, Target or Sears! These restrooms are not only used by our employees, but clients and visitors as well. First impressions! Here are a few general rules for bathroom etiquette.
1. Please clean up after yourselves. By that I mean, if you use one of the toilet seat covers, make sure you flush it!
2. Make sure you turn around and look in the toilet when you flush. Everything should go down. If not, flush again. Nobody likes to see "floaters".
3. If your "Aunt" has come to visit, please make sure if you dribble anything on the toilet seat, on the floor, or the wall (don't ask), please clean it up......
4. If you need assistance, sit and wait for someone to come in and ask for help. We are all at some time or another, in need of assistance.
5. If for some reason the toilet backs-up, please let us know. We will call maintenance.
6. Please wash your hands before leaving.........
Lastly, none of us like to go into the ladies room and see these things. It is very disgusting and very inappropriate. We certainly want to project an adult image. I hope I did not offend anyone, but sometimes these things need to be said. It is each and every persons' responsibility to pick up and clean up after themselves. Thank you for listening and should you have any suggestions, please let your HR department know.
I added the following, from personal experience:
I'd like to add one point pursuant to the 19th floor: the last stall does not lock properly, no matter what one does. If the stall is closed, please take a moment to look under the door, or if bending is difficult for some reason, please knock before just yanking the door open.
After this, I'm screaming if it happens again. :angry:
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Nobody likes floaters?
My life has no meaning now.
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If you need assistance, sit and wait for someone to come in and ask for help. We are all at some time or another, in need of assistance.
So, should I bring some reading material with me... just in case.
I'll visit your building, Bernie... ^^;;
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Nobody likes floaters?
My life has no meaning now.
That's why you need to become supervillian extrodinare "FLOATA BOY"!
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all will dread his coming....and leaving.
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Aborted feti become floaters.
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Those broads sound worst then dudes. Do you guys piss on the toilet set too?
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They probably let thier pan drippin's get all over the place too.
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Years back at my first job, one of the things I had to do after working the desk was to clean the bathrooms--and let me tell you the womens room was ALWAYS worse than the mens. There was always toilet paper EVERYWHERE, the floors were always wet, there was always candy around the toilets, make-up chunks and stuff on the mirrors... I don't want to get into it.
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I'd still like to be clarified on what an 'Aunt' exactly is . . . are they talking lesbians, periods, dogs, wat?
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all of the above - at once.
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I'd still like to be clarified on what an 'Aunt' exactly is . . . are they talking lesbians, periods, dogs, wat?
How someone gets "Aunt Flo" on the walls however should be your mystery...
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You got me on the "wall" thing. I had no idea that, um, personal care issues at such a time could become a contact sport. And no pan drippins :lol: that I know of, but the shedders are something else. :x At least we don't have any pumpers right now. At my old work, one woman would go in with a cooler & pump milk for her kid and it was always all over the floor.
The guys are gross outside the restrooms. Every day, one of 'em goes strutting off to the can with the reception area newspaper tucked under his arm. I used to read the paper at lunch, but not after I saw that. <_< The ones who *exit* the restroom with a big grin and/or sigh are tied for most annoying with the ones who stand in the open doorway & have a conversation so anyone walking by gets to hear "FLUSH! BLATT! WHIZZZ!" And some wonder why I don't care to partake when people bring food up here.
Guess you can take people out of the country, but....
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You got me on the "wall" thing. I had no idea that, um, personal care issues at such a time could become a contact sport. And no pan drippins :lol: that I know of, but the shedders are something else. :x At least we don't have any pumpers right now. At my old work, one woman would go in with a cooler & pump milk for her kid and it was always all over the floor.
The guys are gross outside the restrooms. Every day, one of 'em goes strutting off to the can with the reception area newspaper tucked under his arm. I used to read the paper at lunch, but not after I saw that. <_< The ones who *exit* the restroom with a big grin and/or sigh are tied for most annoying with the ones who stand in the open doorway & have a conversation so anyone walking by gets to hear "FLUSH! BLATT! WHIZZZ!" And some wonder why I don't care to partake when people bring food up here.
Guess you can take people out of the country, but....
You still haven't explained what an 'Aunt' is. I actually want to know, beyond the jokes.
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periods
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You got me on the "wall" thing. I had no idea that, um, personal care issues at such a time could become a contact sport. And no pan drippins :lol: that I know of, but the shedders are something else. :x At least we don't have any pumpers right now. At my old work, one woman would go in with a cooler & pump milk for her kid and it was always all over the floor.
The guys are gross outside the restrooms. Every day, one of 'em goes strutting off to the can with the reception area newspaper tucked under his arm. I used to read the paper at lunch, but not after I saw that. <_< The ones who *exit* the restroom with a big grin and/or sigh are tied for most annoying with the ones who stand in the open doorway & have a conversation so anyone walking by gets to hear "FLUSH! BLATT! WHIZZZ!" And some wonder why I don't care to partake when people bring food up here.
Guess you can take people out of the country, but....
You still haven't explained what an 'Aunt' is. I actually want to know, beyond the jokes.
Goddamn Fiero, didn't anyone ever teach you about poon-slang?
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They would love me using the restroom over there. I'm all about clean. And more woman pee on the seat than you think. I guess they get up too fast or something. Someone at this board's done that too... Yeah.., you know.
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Aunt Flo = menstration
Don't feel bad, it took me a while to figure out what Aunt Flo meant a couple years ago.
And when it said "When your 'Aunt' visits" I had no idea what they were talking about either, I thought they meant "Keep the bathroom clean as if it was your own bathroom and your Aunt Beatrice was visiting." Had they said 'Flo' instead of being obscure about it, I would have cought the joke.
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I think I'm messier in my own bathroom than a public one. Carrie had arrived at the prom indeed....
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hahahahha word