The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: B E C K on Nov 05, 2004, 03:04:43 AM

Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 05, 2004, 03:04:43 AM
In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I stole this premise from an old article:

Quote
It's pretty safe to say that very few homes are as dirty as the ones you can see on Lifetime's new television show, "How Clean Is Your House?"

Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie are Britain's hottest grime fighters. Their hit television show is called "How Clean Is Your House?" It's a makeover show of sorts, clutter to clean. And now these high-falutin' maids are making their way across the pond to the U.S.

Looking quite sharp, Kim says she normally wears a bit more makeup to scrub her own house. “Hair a bit highter and a bit more perky. I'm actually a bit understated today,” she tells Murphy with a laugh.

Well, there's nothing understated about their mission: Clean the foulest homes in the U.S.

Aggie notes, “We've discovered that the houses here are no better and no worse than the ones at home. Just as filthy.”

I know it's on Lifetime but no one's being beaten by her stalker ex-husband and nobody's whining about her period and her fabulously single life over a pint of Ben and Jerry's.  Anyone who likes funny British people and has a little voyeurism in concern to how others live has to like this show.  They inspire you to clean with all the filth they find.  Small dead animals, poop, bacteria, even money, they find everything....!  I watch it Mondays after class (10 pm central time).

The last show I saw, they cleaned these three comedians' place, and Kim was being suggestive to one of them.  So he says something along the lines of "All right, so I get a clean house AND some nookie" and she's all "......I beg your pardon?"   :lol:
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Bernie AKA on Nov 05, 2004, 08:27:57 AM
That sounds more fun than Nanny 911.  I didn't watch it, but heard the nanny had to deal with a family of SEVEN GIRLS under 9 years old!!!   :blink:

"We don't know what to dooooo!!! Whaaaaahhh!!!!"

Maybe ZIPPING YOUR DAMN PANTS would be a start, huh?   :angry:  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 05, 2004, 11:39:16 PM
I don't see how that would un-summon the children.  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 06, 2004, 12:34:02 AM
They would eventually be sucked back in should the pants be zipped too long.

In any case, it's MUCH more fun than any dumb nanny show could ever hope to be.  You must watch this show.  Nannies reached their peak with Mary Poppins anyway.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 06, 2004, 01:14:51 AM
Ha ha ha ha!


"SUUUUUUUCCCKK!!"  :lol:  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Bernie AKA on Nov 09, 2004, 08:46:21 AM
Quote
I don't see how that would un-summon the children.

It might prevent them from "trying again for a boy".  <_<  Like 7 girls isn't enough of a hint for Dopey Dickwerks there.

And few things piss me off more that people who have kids, then while and complain all the time because "it's sooooo HAAAARRRDDDDD!"  Yes, it's a needy, selfish little human being that requires A LOT of care, you morons.  You don't get to put it in the closet until the next Kodak moment.  :angry:  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 09, 2004, 10:32:01 PM
Bernie, don't be ridiculous. You know parenting is only hard because of Grand Theft Auto and Ozzy Osbourne.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 09, 2004, 10:42:58 PM
The 16 yr. old stoner cook at work was complaining about not getting enough sleep and then proceeded to take and make multiple phone calls to babymomma about this and that, peppering it with curse words throughout.  He's only around her because of the kids, but who's fault is that?  The poor idiot's ruined his life and their's.  People bitching about their lives when it all would've been easier with a trip to Planned Parenthood (for some form of bithcontrol) or a zipped fly annoy the piss out of me.

There are people out there who truly love kids and recognize/take the responsibilites involved and only they should be allowed to breed.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 09, 2004, 10:53:21 PM
I obliterated more than fourty condoms before I was 20.


I'm good, right?  :huh:  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 09, 2004, 10:55:10 PM
Yes, we're very proud of you.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 09, 2004, 10:56:16 PM
No you're not.

I still tried to get married and have kids before 20. But I was ready then, I was in the army and shipping to Korea.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 09, 2004, 11:03:42 PM
BOO!!!  WRONG!  You don't get to go multiply and then shaft the poor woman by leaving her all alone with your seedlings for Ko-fukkin'-rea!  :angry:  That's practically what my stupid dad did and it sucks!  HARD!  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Bernie AKA on Nov 10, 2004, 11:35:22 AM
I have an idea, Nuri - merge the two shows.  Put the uncontrollable brats and their handlers to work cleaning nasty houses.  The homes will be spiffy, the kids too tired to scream and run amok, and the horndog parunts too wiped out to put any more buns in the oven  - all problems solved.   :P  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 10, 2004, 11:59:33 AM
Quote
BOO!!!  WRONG!  You don't get to go multiply and then shaft the poor woman by leaving her all alone with your seedlings for Ko-fukkin'-rea!  :angry:  That's practically what my stupid dad did and it sucks!  HARD!
What the fuck!?  :angry:  We were gonna live on base and raise two children there, and then have three or four more when my ten years was up.

And Kimmy's not a "poor woman".
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Faye Valentine on Nov 10, 2004, 07:16:16 PM
nannies are good
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 11, 2004, 12:22:49 AM
Quote
I have an idea, Nuri - merge the two shows.  Put the uncontrollable brats and their handlers to work cleaning nasty houses.  The homes will be spiffy, the kids too tired to scream and run amok, and the horndog parunts too wiped out to put any more buns in the oven  - all problems solved.   :P
But those damn child labor laws....

Quote
And Kimmy's not a "poor woman".
If you say so... tsk tsk...
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 11, 2004, 02:15:41 AM
Fuck you. :P  Just for that, I'm fucking that sixteen-year-old I work with and telling you all about it.  
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 11, 2004, 02:38:04 AM
Don't just tell me, tell us all how he is.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 11, 2004, 10:00:45 AM
No, unfortuenately, not even Ansley can make me gay, and this is gonna be another FEMALE I have to deal wtih.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Bernie AKA on Nov 11, 2004, 03:27:03 PM
Quote
this is gonna be another FEMALE I have to deal wtih.

Like my ex used to say, "Women - can't live with 'em; can't barbecue 'em."
 
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 11, 2004, 10:46:29 PM
You could, but it might be difficult to get away with.  I would recommend picking off the homeless.
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: Evil Monkey-Tom on Nov 11, 2004, 10:52:44 PM
PEOPLE IN MINIVANS FIRST!
Title: Anyone watch How Clean Is Your House?
Post by: B E C K on Nov 11, 2004, 11:19:31 PM
Well they do have more meat.