The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: ChelseySuzie on Nov 01, 2004, 07:40:06 PM

Title: Joke time!
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Nov 01, 2004, 07:40:06 PM

*Home remedies*

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget about the toothache

Title: Joke time!
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Nov 01, 2004, 07:40:48 PM

And when you think that your day is worse than anyone else's...

Title: Joke time!
Post by: MegatronYES on Nov 01, 2004, 07:51:29 PM

:o  

Title: Joke time!
Post by: Faye Valentine on Nov 01, 2004, 08:01:13 PM

OMG I WAS JUST EATING HAM EWWWW

Title: Joke time!
Post by: Evil Monkey-Tom on Nov 01, 2004, 08:03:20 PM

Quote

And when you think that your day is worse than anyone else's...

!

IS THAT THE CHICK THAT FELL OUTTA HER DORM WINDOW!? I saw a news report abotu some chick who was in a 3rd floor dorm, and she slipped while hanging posters. She landed upside down, with the spikes of a fence through her ass cheeks. Thankfully some strong football players were close, and held her up while paramedics arrived. Oddly enough, all she really needed was stitches and anti-biotics to heal.

Title: Joke time!
Post by: ChelseySuzie on Nov 01, 2004, 09:44:33 PM

I don't know what that's a picture of.  But damn, lay off the Ho-Ho's.

Title: Joke time!
Post by: The D on Nov 02, 2004, 11:19:50 AM

Those Ho Hos saved her ass from death!  :o  

Title: Joke time!
Post by: Rumble on Nov 02, 2004, 11:40:03 AM

Bah, goatse man would have known how to deal with a metal bar that size

Title: Joke time!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 03, 2004, 02:24:32 AM

Quote

IS THAT THE CHICK THAT FELL OUTTA HER DORM WINDOW!? I saw a news report abotu some chick who was in a 3rd floor dorm, and she slipped while hanging posters. She landed upside down, with the spikes of a fence through her ass cheeks. Thankfully some strong football players were close, and held her up while paramedics arrived. Oddly enough, all she really needed was stitches and anti-biotics to heal.

I think she came out on Oprah.  God that looked gross.  I think the one with the microphone stand through her chest was worse.

Title: Joke time!
Post by: Bernie AKA on Nov 03, 2004, 08:48:02 AM

When my bro was station at Randolph in San Antonio, an ambulance came abround one night & loaded up an airman.  Next day, Tom found out that he had gotten a mousse can stuck up his ass whilst attempting a little auto-eroticism.

The best part was the fact that he had put a condom over the cap.  Safety first!  :lol:  

Title: Joke time!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 03, 2004, 11:45:05 PM

LOL!!!  Couldn't let that mousse give him an STD.