The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: B E C K on Jun 13, 2007, 11:34:37 PM
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...yesterday and while we're in the drive-thru we hear what almost sounds like one of those fundraisers or somethin' where people gather outside and some mook has a mic and is talking about all teh cancers that need to be cured, etc. Or possibly one of those radio station contests held outside where you get a t-shirt or a bumper sticker if you park nearby and walk over to their little tent. But it's not. It's Jebus freaks.
The first thing that came to mind was Doug, tearing his child-loving hair out, as the duder on the mic was all "HONK FOR JESUS! JESUS LOVES YOU! ARE THAR N E CHRISCHENS, MANG!11" and that sorta shit. There were these cholo types, at least one who looked like he had either a beer in his hand or a beer-like soda can, and they were carrying posterboard signs with exactly too many letters on them and shouting "Jesus!! JESUS!!" akin to half-hearted cheering at a forced-attendance high school morning pep rally. They gathered all around the four-way intersection-- which is under quite a bit of construction, some of them walking into traffic (possibly overeager to actually meet Jesus) and passing out flyers to all the people who were stopped at the light. Naturally, my window went right up.
As we turned, I tried to identify the person with the mic. Not in the personal sense, I just wanted to see WHO was talking. But I couldn't and concluded it was a Mexican George Lopez-Gary Coleman hybrid, unable to be viewed due to the cultish handful of people gathered around the speakers waiting for Jesus to pop out and greet them.
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Not as fun as the people who stand on the same corner every saturday night during the summer and rant to everyone in a blow horn that we're all going to hell.
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I actually thought for a minute they might be anti-abortionists but then I couldn't find a Planned Parenthood anywhere. Unless La Fiesta grocery store or the Little Caesar's has something they want to tell us.
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They might have offered broom closet service before Roe v. Wade.
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Well, I certainly don't know a better way to get people to convert than to accost them at fast-food restaurants with the ever popular hell-bound message!
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Not as fun as the people who stand on the same corner every saturday night during the summer and rant to everyone in a blow horn that we're all going to hell.
Well they might be wrong about some people...but I'm pretty sure you have a one way ticket to hell.
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Well, I certainly don't know a better way to get people to convert than to accost them at fast-food restaurants with the ever popular hell-bound message!
Well technically they weren't exactly at the restaurants, they were right down the street. They were at the corners of the intersection in a dilapidated neighborhood under a great deal of road construction with cars bottlenecking at one end and having to detour to the sides since the opposing lane was closed. And they were blocking my view of the Walgreen's. But your point still stands. "HONK FOR JESUS!!!!!!!!111klwjgrmbg" "JESUS!!" I think I need to make audio of this somehow. Typing it out does not seem sufficient.
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Jesus don't care 'bout no honks!
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When we were in St. Louis, I went with my Cousin down to the store and there were some African American Muslims handing out pamlets at the stop light. And my cousin turns me and says "I bet they don't even try to give us anything." and sure enough they walked right past our car despite the fact that our windows where down we were looking right at them.
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You white devils are already going to hell, so there was no point in wasting time on you.
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Heaven isn't for honkies.
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I thought there were black guys asking for handouts in front of the Salvation Army like a month ago. Well next time I'm there, I see them standing there just like they were before which couldn't be fucking possible. So yeah, turns out they were mannequins. Armless mannequins. Don't know how I missed that one.
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"You trifling, good-for-nothing NIGGAS!"
*looks*
"Oh, wait...damn. Sorry."
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"Oh excuse me sir...I thought you were an armless mannequin, but it turns out you were just black."
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I'm reminded of another story. Several years back when we were attempting to be a functioning family unit, Ma, Pa, Owlerella and I went to the movies to see something or other. Maybe it was when we saw Pitch Black. Anyway, we had been going to a few movies and every time some tall, usually white dude-- many times wearing a fucking hat-- would sit right in fucking front of 5'3"ish me. Well I thought I had gotten the perfect seat and this huge black guy sits right in front of me. And I'm all to my folks about how "and this huge black guy sat in front of me" and they're all "SHHHH!". Like so what? That's what he was. I can't unblack or unhuge him. There's no real point to the story other than this humorous latent fear of black people in the older generations of my family.
Completely unrelated, perhaps because I started talking about going to movies, it looks like I may be flying solo on opening day for Harry Potter 5. Merla and I have gone together every year since Chamber of Secrets. And Schmoo was suppose to join us this year. Bitches, you can't do this to me!
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Those actually look pretty good...
http://www.technidata.com/graph/dqsteak.jpg (http://www.technidata.com/graph/dqsteak.jpg)
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Fucker, now I'm craving them again. The fries will always be shit though. Not "the shit" as in "good", "shit" as in "shitty-shitty shit shit" aka "bad".
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Im not sure they sell them at our DQ. I've never seen a commercial for them and don't frequent that place on principle of their being nothing healthy their for me. But maybe on my next cheat day I'll go there.
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Fucker, now I'm craving them again. The fries will always be shit though. Not "the shit" as in "good", "shit" as in "shitty-shitty shit shit" aka "bad".
I always wonder if they even cook them at the DQ I frequent. That or if someone pissed on them before sending them out. They are always soggy and I won't even touch them. I stopped going to DQ because of them.
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They probably precook them and let them sit in their own grease. I've had some like that before and they're really nast when they're like that.
They sell them at every DQ. They're only advertised when they're on sale.