The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Bernie AKA on Apr 25, 2007, 10:32:54 AM

Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 25, 2007, 10:32:54 AM
Two nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.

One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
 
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 25, 2007, 12:08:37 PM
*rimshot*
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 25, 2007, 12:43:28 PM
When do they sodomize each other?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 25, 2007, 05:37:45 PM
After they're done with you.  Two penguins going at Dr. Jackson:  This is just like that special Stargate edition of Happy Feet.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 25, 2007, 05:49:10 PM
WHOO!!!
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 25, 2007, 07:43:08 PM
:goes to the confession room:
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 25, 2007, 09:01:05 PM
To wait for the priest?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 26, 2007, 12:33:02 AM
There's another sliding door closer to the bottom big enough for a head to go through.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 26, 2007, 05:54:42 AM
how do you know. huh??? do you have something you want to tell us?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 26, 2007, 12:40:44 PM
He is a devout member of the Christian faith.  It's their job to know these sorts of things.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 27, 2007, 02:13:14 AM
If you have to go through a middleman so he can take up your case with God, chances are that he doesn't always do it out of the goodness of his heart...especially when these particular brand of middlemen are historically renowned for licentiousness in spite of their professed ethics.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 27, 2007, 02:44:21 AM
Quote
He is a devout member of the Christian faith.  It's their job to know these sorts of things.
I'm of that faith and I have no idea what is up with Catholics. Only time I've seen the inside of a confessional booth is in the movies. Most noteably in Detriot Rock City where a guy loses his virginity in one.  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 27, 2007, 05:53:57 AM
Quote
If you have to go through a middleman so he can take up your case with God, chances are that he doesn't always do it out of the goodness of his heart...especially when these particular brand of middlemen are historically renowned for licentiousness in spite of their professed ethics.
He's not like a "middleman". He's more like an underwriter.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 27, 2007, 10:43:03 AM
A human guide, not to replace the personal voyage of spiritual enlightenment but rather accompany and provide wisdom and service.

Just as long as he doesn't molest the children, but then ministers are guilty of that too, it just doesn't get on the news as much.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 27, 2007, 11:18:14 PM
Lots of people in lots of different vocations molest children.

Most do not have huge, powerful, established hierarchies to cover it up.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 28, 2007, 12:03:14 AM
Quote
Quote
He is a devout member of the Christian faith.  It's their job to know these sorts of things.
I'm of that faith and I have no idea what is up with Catholics.
Are you Catholic?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 28, 2007, 02:38:19 AM
No, and I'm pretty sure neither is DS. I am Christan though. Despite what the Vactican would like, Christian doesn't equal Catholic.  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 28, 2007, 08:27:48 AM
I'm certainly not Catholic.  And I never could be, given that it's already condemned me to hell.

I thought about not being a jerk about it, but at some point a few years ago I gave up waiting for the infallible pope to proclaim the anathemas pronounced against me by the infallible church four hundred years ago null and void.  Pre-emptive eternal damnation just sort of destroys any sense of civility I might have extended towards it.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 28, 2007, 10:53:00 AM
Catholicism owns you all bitches! ohohohoooo
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 28, 2007, 01:22:51 PM
That unfoulable thing rubs me the wrong way too. No man is unfoulable.


Oh and this:

Quote
Despite what the Vactican would like, Christian doesn't equal Catholic.


Wasn't directed at you Nuri. That was just me airing my chip on the shoulder about religon. When I rereead it I realized it looked like I was saying you actually thought that, and since you've told me on many times that your dad was Luthern I know that's not the case. Just wanted to clear that up before you started bitching in my ear. lol  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: IDE on Apr 28, 2007, 04:35:23 PM
You guys are gonna be sorry come ragnarok.

 
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 28, 2007, 05:03:46 PM
My dad is Lutheran because he converted later on years ago because every few years his conscience bites him in the ass and he becomes all devout to teh lard.  I have no idea if he still is or not because I don't think his gf is Lutheran and they mentioned looking for a church to go to.

Merla and I were raised Roman Catholic, were baptized as such and went to CCD for many years until Merla was in the 8th grade.  My dad says because it got obscenely expensive, but Merla says it was because he was a cheapskate deadbeat and wouldn't hand over child support so we could afford to go.  But I'm birdwalking: I knew you weren't Catholic (and DS, too).  I only asked the Catholic question because once you said "no", I was gonna tell you to STFU.  Tee hee.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 28, 2007, 05:41:11 PM
*is Catholic, but tends to go with John Paul II's teachings above all others*

He's like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 28, 2007, 06:00:05 PM
My brain always checked out at church.  I went to CCD all those years but only today learned it stood for Confraternity of Catholic Doctrine.

The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah.  At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day".  And then the credits rolled.  :lol:
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 28, 2007, 08:30:37 PM
The bible is a fucked up book.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 28, 2007, 09:18:42 PM
Quote
[John Paul II]'s like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.
They're all poseurs.  There's room in Christianity for only one infallible Person, and the pope ain't Him.

Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled :lol:
That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong?  It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 28, 2007, 11:16:47 PM
Quote
Quote
[John Paul II]'s like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.
They're all poseurs.  There's room in Christianity for only one infallible Person, and the pope ain't Him.

Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled :lol:
That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong?  It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.
Who say's that he is that, aside from him. I see him as a spirtual figure, a brother to the Dhali Lama. It explains why the two of them got along so well. ^_^
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 29, 2007, 12:07:06 AM
Quote
Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled :lol:
That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong?  It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.
Well he still had his eyes at the end, though it's clearly implied he dies with the Philistines.  The show wasn't all about him, it features a different biblical story each episode-- all likely done in the same cheerful, morbid vein.  It was far funnier than Spongebob could ever be.   :lol:  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 29, 2007, 07:16:57 AM
Quote
Who say's that he is that, aside from him. I see him as a spirtual figure, a brother to the Dhali Lama. It explains why the two of them got along so well. ^_^
If he's a spiritual figure, how do you see him at all?  Of course, he's certainly a spiritual figure NOW....

JPII and the dhali lama were buddies because they're pretty much claiming to be the same person, just from different religious backgrounds.  Ecumenism is a big deal these days and is a big reason I have no use for either.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on Apr 29, 2007, 12:28:43 PM
That and they were/are funny. Especially DL.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 29, 2007, 11:52:26 PM
Quote
My dad is Lutheran because he converted later on years ago because every few years his conscience bites him in the ass and he becomes all devout to teh lard.  I have no idea if he still is or not because I don't think his gf is Lutheran and they mentioned looking for a church to go to.

Merla and I were raised Roman Catholic, were baptized as such and went to CCD for many years until Merla was in the 8th grade.  My dad says because it got obscenely expensive, but Merla says it was because he was a cheapskate deadbeat and wouldn't hand over child support so we could afford to go.  But I'm birdwalking: I knew you weren't Catholic (and DS, too).  I only asked the Catholic question because once you said "no", I was gonna tell you to STFU.  Tee hee.
You could have just gone ahead and said STFU and I wouldn't have had to read the whole post to get to it.

Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled.

Can't wait till they get to Lot's Cave. That's good cartoon material right there.  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rodent of Unusual Size on Apr 30, 2007, 12:29:51 AM
They certainly won't cover that in VBS.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 30, 2007, 12:35:26 AM
Quote
Quote
My dad is Lutheran because he converted later on years ago because every few years his conscience bites him in the ass and he becomes all devout to teh lard.  I have no idea if he still is or not because I don't think his gf is Lutheran and they mentioned looking for a church to go to.

Merla and I were raised Roman Catholic, were baptized as such and went to CCD for many years until Merla was in the 8th grade.  My dad says because it got obscenely expensive, but Merla says it was because he was a cheapskate deadbeat and wouldn't hand over child support so we could afford to go.  But I'm birdwalking: I knew you weren't Catholic (and DS, too).  I only asked the Catholic question because once you said "no", I was gonna tell you to STFU.  Tee hee.
You could have just gone ahead and said STFU and I wouldn't have had to read the whole post to get to it.

Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled.

Can't wait till they get to Lot's Cave. That's good cartoon material right there.
No one told you to read the whole thing, stupid.  Anyway, this Lot's Cave thing sounds like a blast.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 30, 2007, 01:54:21 AM
I thought it might have a point. You're right. I should have known better.

Quote
Anyway, this Lot's Cave thing sounds like a blast.

If you like drunk guys fucking their own daughters then it's a A-number-1 party.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 30, 2007, 01:49:14 PM
Sounds like that urban legend where the sheriff's daughter was in the tent with her boyfriend and he didn't realize it until he let the deputy already do her.  Or something like that.  And then they put their Mexican dog in the microwave to dry, but it turned out to be a giant rat that had been sold into slavery and turned into a sideshow freak after she was kidnapped while on her honeymoon in Paris.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on Apr 30, 2007, 02:29:21 PM
I guess. But it lacks the mass death of sodomites that the Lot story has.  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 30, 2007, 04:08:36 PM
I suppose those are pretty hard to come by.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: IDE on Apr 30, 2007, 04:41:53 PM
Quote
If you like drunk guys fucking their own daughters then it's a A-number-1 party.
sup 4chan! :3
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on Apr 30, 2007, 10:05:44 PM
Would you really do that?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: IDE on May 01, 2007, 12:35:51 AM
No.

Would you look at a comic strip about it?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on May 01, 2007, 02:38:46 PM
No.  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on May 01, 2007, 02:41:08 PM
No.



You were suppose to ask another question, dammit.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on May 01, 2007, 02:42:35 PM
Do I really have to?  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on May 01, 2007, 11:29:03 PM
Yes.



Did I or did I not just count that as your question?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on May 02, 2007, 03:35:37 AM
Yes.


Would you still have asked another question even if you didn't?  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on May 02, 2007, 03:39:05 PM
Are we still posting in English?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Derrick on May 03, 2007, 12:23:32 AM
Que?
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on May 03, 2007, 12:33:49 AM
My Ramanese is rusty.  I'll wait for Faye to translate this.
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: Rama on May 03, 2007, 01:15:39 AM
What wasn't clear about that?

Even if you didn't consider it a question would you still have asked one yourself?  
Title: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
Post by: B E C K on May 03, 2007, 01:36:06 AM
Return to your forest!  We mean you no harm!!112ejogle