The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Bitch on Sep 06, 2006, 04:53:58 AM

Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 06, 2006, 04:53:58 AM
Some guy was killed in my building today. His girlfriend found him in the bathtub with a bullethole in his head. There was a shitload of squad cars, plus CSI and SWAT cars. Every apartment was searched in case there was anyone hiding and everyone on the fifth floor was questioned. There were still four squad cars and a few guys in suits hanging around the lobby when I got home at midnight. They actually made me tell them my apartment number before they let me go upstairs.

And all everyone's gonna care about is the fact that it'll probably be in the paper tomorrow.  <_<  
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Extra Zero on Sep 06, 2006, 07:58:59 AM
Sounds like the time I watched my neighbor blow his brains out on his porch, New Years Eve in 1994...
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 06, 2006, 08:12:56 AM
No fucking way Zero! You really did see that?
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Fiero on Sep 06, 2006, 10:15:59 AM
Quote
Sounds like the time I watched my neighbor blow his brains out on his porch, New Years Eve in 1994...
Jesus Christ dude.  That's hardcore.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Extra Zero on Sep 06, 2006, 11:40:09 AM
Quote
No fucking way Zero! You really did see that?
Yep.  Just as the fireworks started go off, he replaced his cigarette with a magnum.  It didn't really strike me too much until I saw his brother-in-law powet-washing the blood off the side of the house the next day.  It hit me weeks later when I was mowing the lawn and picked up a chunk of his skull.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 06, 2006, 11:49:05 AM
Damn.....I saw someone kill themselves, but I never found pieces of the guy. And I didn't know him. You totally win.  
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Fiero on Sep 06, 2006, 01:07:16 PM
Quote
Quote
No fucking way Zero! You really did see that?
Yep.  Just as the fireworks started go off, he replaced his cigarette with a magnum.  It didn't really strike me too much until I saw his brother-in-law powet-washing the blood off the side of the house the next day.  It hit me weeks later when I was mowing the lawn and picked up a chunk of his skull.
Was it like, "hey man, what is this?  OH SHIT" and then washing your hands for two hours?

And Bitch, did you get questioned?
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 06, 2006, 01:24:08 PM
Nah, I didn't get home until 12:30. But I got to hear of the drama from every resident who got the chance. Turns out I knew the guy, too; he was this cool guy with CG who I talked to sometimes. We weren't close enough for me to be sad, but we were close enough for me to go "Awe."

My best friend's mom started freaking out because she saw on the news that there was a young adult murdered and came over at about 6 AM to make sure I was still alive. That's never fun.

 
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 06, 2006, 01:27:24 PM
And Zero, that's gotta suck. The most I ever found mowing the lawn was dog shit.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Extra Zero on Sep 06, 2006, 01:28:19 PM
Quote
Was it like, "hey man, what is this?  OH SHIT" and then washing your hands for two hours?

 
Pretty much.  I've had an obsessive compulsive need to wash my hands, all the time, since that day.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 06, 2006, 03:43:05 PM
Quote
Damn.....I saw someone kill themselves, but I never found pieces of the guy. And I didn't know him. You totally win.
How? Did he jump?

Someone died on the airplane my dad was going to fly the other day. fucking stupid people,g etting into the damn plane when they are sick. fuckers.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: IDE on Sep 06, 2006, 08:50:10 PM
Some one got smoked executioner style in my old dorm building but I didn't live there at the time.

skull fragments on the lawn...hard core.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: B E C K on Sep 06, 2006, 11:59:43 PM
Most I ever saw of a dead body in public was some lady covered with a yellow tarp on the street.  It was a relatively new intersection, and a short time later it got its own traffic light.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 07, 2006, 02:35:20 AM
Quote
Quote
Damn.....I saw someone kill themselves, but I never found pieces of the guy. And I didn't know him. You totally win.
How? Did he jump?
 
No he shot himself.

How this went down is me and a Buddy of mine, where driving from my house to the bowling alley. (We were both in leagues at the time to this was around 97-98) and we came to the stop light in front of the courthouse. I heard a loud pop and I turned and this guy was firing a gun into a car. I yelled at my friend to look at this, and just when I turned back the guy turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger.

Later when the story hit the news we learned that the man's ex-wife was in the car and she was bleeding him dry with alimony apparently, and they had both been in court cause she was trying to get more. When the judge awarded it to her, the dude snapped and tried to kill her in the parking lot and then killed himself. The woman survived the attack though.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Max Con on Sep 07, 2006, 02:45:53 AM
It's too bad he died and not her.

Blood sucker!
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: TM2 Rampage on Sep 07, 2006, 05:15:10 AM
Quote
It's too bad he died and not her.

Blood sucker!
Poor guy got confused and thought he could kill her with silver bullets
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: B E C K on Sep 07, 2006, 03:12:26 PM
For all you know she deserved that money.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 07, 2006, 03:20:21 PM
Or she might not have. I knew a woman that refused to accept a raise at work till after her court date cause she'd get less money from her ex-husband. Who knows if she did or didn't. They didn't go into too much detail on the whole issue apart from him going bonkers after they awarded her more.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Chopper Face 69 on Sep 07, 2006, 04:18:48 PM
Shit. I just decided to move out of my shithole 'cause my girlfriend's car got stolen and I watched a few cars burn for a half hour the other day. You guys make my neighbourhood sound like paradise.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Guest on Sep 07, 2006, 06:38:47 PM
Quote
For all you know she deserved that money.
and he...he deserved to die...oh wait...
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 07, 2006, 09:17:33 PM
Quote
Shit. I just decided to move out of my shithole 'cause my girlfriend's car got stolen and I watched a few cars burn for a half hour the other day. You guys make my neighbourhood sound like paradise.
Meh. This shit can happen anywhere. A guy in the nice part of town just walked into his backyard and ate his gun the other night, but that wasn't considered newsworthy. Had it happened in this area, it would have made the front page.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: B E C K on Sep 07, 2006, 09:44:21 PM
A nice neighborhood does reduce the likelyhood of it.  In my old, old neighborhood we never heard gunshots or had graffiti.  The most bothersome thing had to be the neighbors across the street who played loud rap, which could be remedied by closing the door.    The most that was ever stolen from us were some plants from the backyard, and my mom's car window was broken with a rock.  I would go out for walks at night, go a mile down the road for videos, takeout, and cigarettes, and come home without incident.  We lived there about ten years or so.

The subsequent neighborhood had graffiti, gangs, blasting loud rap music at the wee hours of the morning, and hellions that liked to rumble and who broke into our house.  More than once we heard gunshots and we lived there for less than a year.  Every time we walked out, we had to worry about encountering these people, their racing, or the dogs of the people who lived down the street.  Though there were some good people who lived around there, the rest were bad, welfare scraping, section 8, Mexican-wannabe stupid suburbanite gang garbage.

At this house, we have rumbling loud music (not as persistant as the last place but still almost painfully loud) and sometimes gunshots.  Less than a mile away, the road is littered with inns, cantinas, and the ocassional hookers.  Kids like to race on the neighboring road, which is always has bits of garbage on it.  However, since we are in the center of the Habitat community, it's primarily of families who had to help build their houses like we did so I feel marginally safer here than at the last place.  The giant cunt breeder-blob across the street always has police over, but I'd rather deal with screaming and a cop car than a bunch of shirtless punks attacking other punks in their car.

I have, however, yet to see blood spilt, a death (thank god) or a car on fire.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Max Con on Sep 08, 2006, 01:44:18 AM
There's police search copters above my neighborhood practically every week.


It's cool.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: IDE on Sep 08, 2006, 03:15:22 AM
I miss exciting stuff like that happening around here...

I talked a guy out of shooting some people once.  Now that I think about it approaching that guy probably wasnt the smartest move.  I just knew he didn't really want to shoot anyone and even went so far as to lower his arm with my hand when he pointed the gun at some guy.

I also beat the piss out of a guy with a knife but he had re-pocketed the knife (after threatening my friends with it) and was preparing to leave when my wrath was visited upon him. Too late came the cries of "He has knife" as he tried to fumble it back out of his pocket.  My vengeance was swift and merciless as I knocked him onto the ground then hopped onto car bumper and proceeded to jump onto his head.  

Haven't been in a fight (that wasn't work related) in over 2 years now though.  In the late 90s the streets of this town ran red with blood as frat fought frat for dominance of the circuit...now everyone gets along just fine and legends like mine fade into myth and are eventually forgotten.
 
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 03:21:32 AM
I'm so used to sirens that I don't even notice them anymore. There are cops constantly patrolling the area for crackheads and prostitutes (but never really doing anything about them) along with two courthouses and a prison, two hospitals within a mile of the place, and a fire station a block away. It's fun taking walks because, depending on which direction you go, you'll either be in an even slummier part of town, the Old Town district (which is basically a hangout for rich frat boys and their blow-up dolls), a nonresidential business area, or Riverside, which is where the white trash that doesn't want to live in the suburbs go.

I just love walking to work, because I keep getting harassed for change, cigarettes, weed, sexual favors, or all of the above. I've learned the art of shrugging, tapping my ear, and looking apologetic before continuing to ignore the assholes and going on with my life. Which is basically getting to work, working my lovely ass off so people can stare and having old, fat, black and/or Mexican guys ask if I want to go out/get drunk/have sex with them. It's not so much flattering as it is annoying, since they'll even proposition a '6-3" gay guy with sideburns and a mustache if he wears a convincingly well-stuffed bra. They'd go after Max Con if he wore pink and carried a purse.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Max Con on Sep 08, 2006, 03:22:50 AM
Who's to say I don't?
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 03:24:56 AM
It only counts if you're not rich.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Max Con on Sep 08, 2006, 03:27:07 AM
God dammit I've wasted my life.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 08, 2006, 03:27:48 AM
Man sucks to be you guys. The events I recounted where unsual. They hardly ever happen. Hell someone once tried to break into our house once, like 25 years ago. We don't even lock the doors half the time. Most of the time when siren go by, (which I'd say happens once...maybe twice a month.) it's more likely a fire and not any crimnal act. Living in the middle no where has it's cons, but it also has it's perks. I don't have to deal with people if I choose not to do so, and I don't have to be scared that someone is going to come in and kill me.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 03:29:42 AM
There, there. If you'd like, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now. You can put them on and we'll walk up the street, and you can pleasure the men and give me the money. I'll hold the camera.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 03:31:28 AM
Quote
The events I recounted where unsual. They hardly ever happen. Hell someone once tried to break into our house once
This statement has been approved by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Max Con on Sep 08, 2006, 03:45:53 AM
Closest thing to a break in to ever happen here was when the police chased a guy to about 7 houses down and sealed off of the street. He ran into a backyard and started hopping fences towards my place.


Guy was lucky the cops caught him, too. We had a rottweiler/german shepherd at the time, with two equally as big dogs at the house next door.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 03:58:12 AM
I was standing around with some friends when a creepy guy opened the door, saw us there, and said "Whoops, wrong door." My door is covered in pictures and the only decorated door on my floor. Also, he opened it slowly like he was trying to sneak. And about a month ago, there was someone running around to the different apartments and if the door was unlocked, they'd steal the closest purse and its contents.

Yeah, this door stays locked and my fencing bag is in my room.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 08, 2006, 04:14:52 AM
Well we can only hope that when someone kills you it's quick and painless.  
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 08, 2006, 09:46:05 AM
Loooooooong ago people broke into my house twice, first time we got back and they got out(like they didn't have time to steal anything) and the second time they stole shit, but the peruvian special forces( aka aguila negra= black hawk) captured them in like 1 hour!

After that we got guards and everything is calm now
(im talking about peru btw)

Now here in Philly, now I live in a very WASPy area, but before, because i wanted to live closer to campus, i lived in the ghettoo! it was so horrible, i was always afraid of someone getting into my apt at night or some shit. :(
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 08, 2006, 01:51:47 PM
They used the Peruvian Special forces to catch thieves?  Shit, we don't even let the National Guard do that unless it is a disaster.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: B E C K on Sep 08, 2006, 03:16:19 PM
Quote
Yeah, this door stays locked and my fencing bag is in my room.
Was I the only one who pictured an old time, Errol Flynn style match between Bitch and the would-be burglar?  Like fencing up and down stairs in tight pants and ruffle-shirts?
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 08, 2006, 03:41:12 PM
Quote
They used the Peruvian Special forces to catch thieves?  Shit, we don't even let the National Guard do that unless it is a disaster.
Yeah, it wasn't like the special forces against terrorists, it was the special forces inside the police forces.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: IDE on Sep 08, 2006, 03:54:31 PM
The homeless people around here love to terrorize frat houses during the holidays i.e they break in and steal stuff when they think everyone is away.  The problem is that theres always some people that don't go home.  One time my friend awoke to see his door cracked open and single eye peering at him.  When he started to sit up he heard a voice say "Go to sleep white boy".  He got up and rushed the door and the guy or guys took off down the fire escape.

Another one of my friends walked in on some homeless guy in his room threw the guy down, grabbed a knife, and held him prisoner while the guy begged for his life.  He let him go (without stabbing him) and now sleeps with a knife duct taped to the wall near his bed.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Derrick on Sep 08, 2006, 05:02:05 PM
Quote
Quote
They used the Peruvian Special forces to catch thieves?  Shit, we don't even let the National Guard do that unless it is a disaster.
Yeah, it wasn't like the special forces against terrorists, it was the special forces inside the police forces.
I.e., the cops who had guns with actual bullets, not just toys given to them by druglords.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Bitch on Sep 08, 2006, 08:07:05 PM
Quote
Quote
Yeah, this door stays locked and my fencing bag is in my room.
Was I the only one who pictured an old time, Errol Flynn style match between Bitch and the would-be burglar?  Like fencing up and down stairs in tight pants and ruffle-shirts?
Doesn't that mean I have to give them a sword, too? Fuck that. I want to run them through, not have a duel.

He he, penetration. :D
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 08, 2006, 10:50:07 PM
Quote
Quote
Quote
They used the Peruvian Special forces to catch thieves?  Shit, we don't even let the National Guard do that unless it is a disaster.
Yeah, it wasn't like the special forces against terrorists, it was the special forces inside the police forces.
I.e., the cops who had guns with actual bullets, not just toys given to them by druglords.
Oohh haha omg you are so funny!!!!!!! NOT

The black hawks is the equivalent to the SWAT here. There ya go, now you'll understand.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Derrick on Sep 09, 2006, 12:13:00 AM
Well that's like comparing apples to oranges. The Black Hawks are armed with the latest peruvian technology, which means they drive around in a 1974 VW bus armed with WW2 issued Soviet rifles paid for with drug money and protecting the important nation of Peru from rabid chinchillas and evil ex-Nazis plotting to rule the world.

They sound awesome. I would watch that show.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2006, 09:07:56 AM
Now now tom, you are having a white trash mind right now. Let's not stereotype everybody here. Just because Peru is a 3rd world country it doesn't mean we don't have good technology.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Fiero on Sep 09, 2006, 09:55:57 AM
Quote
Now now tom, you are having a white trash mind right now. Let's not stereotype everybody here. Just because Peru is a 3rd world country it doesn't mean we don't have good technology.
Honestly though, that would be a good show.  But I must protest the harming of any chinchillas.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Derrick on Sep 09, 2006, 10:35:11 AM
It would fucking own, and no animals would be harmed in the filming. I think I could get Antonio Banderas to star, he doesn't like being around Melanie Griffin.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: B E C K on Sep 09, 2006, 01:40:25 PM
Quote
Doesn't that mean I have to give them a sword, too? Fuck that. I want to run them through, not have a duel.

He he, penetration. :D
A cardboard replica will work just as well.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 09, 2006, 06:59:01 PM
Quote
Quote
Now now tom, you are having a white trash mind right now. Let's not stereotype everybody here. Just because Peru is a 3rd world country it doesn't mean we don't have good technology.
Honestly though, that would be a good show.  But I must protest the harming of any chinchillas.
Even though chinchillas are native of the Andes, I've never seen one in Peru before(or in any other country in S.A for that matter) I've only seen them in here.  
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Derrick on Sep 09, 2006, 07:24:27 PM
Well don't they live underground?
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Rama on Sep 10, 2006, 08:29:28 AM
Quote
Quote
Doesn't that mean I have to give them a sword, too? Fuck that. I want to run them through, not have a duel.

He he, penetration. :D
A cardboard replica will work just as well.
But if she doesn’t have a chandelier thats support rope can easily be cut, then it would all be moot.
Title: Oh my shit.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Sep 10, 2006, 09:04:05 AM
Quote
Well don't they live underground?
I have no idea. But even if they lived underground, I would see them in pet stores, but I haven't. Only here. And they are kind of expensive too, lke 120 bucks each huh? daamn.

The other day I ALMOST bought a pair of hairless rats, they looked soo cute and they were soo warm.