The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Wickedly Yours E on Jul 30, 2006, 08:33:06 PM

Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Jul 30, 2006, 08:33:06 PM
I told one guy this spiel, he dared say his life was crappy for some fairly insignificant reason...Ended up going off into a tangent...:

Cheer up! What the fuck do you have to be depressed about? Economy has evolved into a Tacky Technocratic Commercialized society, which has led to some of the GEEKIEST Shit EVER! SURE, We're on the brink of possible Nuclear Holocaust with Korea, Family Values have gone to shit, and Parents can't seem to keep their eyes on their own damn munchkins for longer than Twenty Seconds before yelling off to network executives and suing somebody, BUT DAMMIT WE HAVE XBOX 360'S!
True, the Degradation of the English language into a slang filled cesspool of mockery and debauchery, plus the entire downgrading of public and private school systems across the country has led to low graduation rates, more kids like you out on the street, and the increase of street and gang related violence, but HEY! Let's IGNORE all of that and focus on YOUR Problem. What is it Kid? Is it the fact your Mom and Dad didn't hug you enough? WELL You know Some Kids get "hugged" too much by Mom and Dad! You know what too much "hugging" by Mom and Dad leads to kid? PUSSYFOOTED, LIBEL-CRAZY, WUSSIES! And Sexual molestation charges when you're 32 and a famous actor and or actress.
Seriously. People these days are So god Damn Sue-Happy it's CRAZY! You get into a simple bar fight, and the next day somebodies suing you because you hit them in the face. Newsflash! You shouldn't be suing me because you're so god damn fat you can't move out of the way of a DRUNKEN GUY'S FIST! You should be suing McDonalds! YEAH! Because IT MADE YOU FAT, ALL BECAUSE You went there and bought all those Happy Meals! Damn McDonalds and serving me exactly the shit I ordered! Let's sue them!

Just an interesting happening in my day.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Jul 31, 2006, 12:39:54 AM
What was the reason?
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Rama on Jul 31, 2006, 07:22:37 AM
Hell there thousands of people that think their suffering is the most important thing in the world and no one could ever be worse off then they are and everyone else should just give them a big old pitty party. But in truth there isn't anything wrong with their life and there are a lot of people worse off then they are and they even have a better attitude about. Just look on Myspace, it's full of them. That's why I don't like to bitch online about my life too much, I mean my life sucks...but it could be worse. I could have cancer of the ass or have had my face burned off with acid or something.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Jul 31, 2006, 08:06:35 AM
I don't remember the reason, but I know it was something trivial that made me say "....WHAT? That's IT?"
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: IDE on Jul 31, 2006, 03:34:04 PM
This country is full of people still living their personal fable.  I think that's part of our enculturation though.  I imagine life is less individualized in other parts of the world.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Merla on Jul 31, 2006, 03:34:22 PM
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but it could be worse. I could have cancer of the ass or have had my face burned off with acid or something.
Yeah there are worse things in this world.  And alot of people do not live as well as we do.  I think Nuri wanted to smack me the other day because I was bitching about how I hate being poor and being stuck with dial-up.  Which really is a stupid thing to say.  
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Jul 31, 2006, 09:21:24 PM
Quote
Quote
but it could be worse. I could have cancer of the ass or have had my face burned off with acid or something.
Yeah there are worse things in this world.  And alot of people do not live as well as we do.  I think Nuri wanted to smack me the other day because I was bitching about how I hate being poor and being stuck with dial-up.  Which really is a stupid thing to say.
Agreed. I have Dial Up. I live.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Jul 31, 2006, 09:52:15 PM
Having done it oodles myself, I see nothing wrong with bitching online in a blog or something.  It's not like anyone has to read it, and it feels good to vent sometimes.  Unless you're Doug or something.  Ha ha.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Jul 31, 2006, 10:32:53 PM
:lol:
Shh don't mention him! He might come back like you know, a demon, beetlejuice or Britney Spears.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Jul 31, 2006, 10:48:29 PM
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How I cheer someone up
I stick my dick inside them.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Jul 31, 2006, 11:42:44 PM
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:lol:
Shh don't mention him! He might come back like you know, a demon, beetlejuice or Britney Spears.
I know, I know!  I told myself that, too.  Dammit, I broke my own rule.


Quote
I stick my dick inside them.
Must be strange when your dad's depressed.  Or your dog.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Jul 31, 2006, 11:51:53 PM
Yeah... I tend to just ignore that.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Jul 31, 2006, 11:58:27 PM
Aw.  What a terrible son.  What a terrible son.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Jul 31, 2006, 11:59:32 PM
He seems happy by it, but then he does like Rick Santorum. You should try it one time.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 01, 2006, 12:42:37 AM
Try Rick Santorum?
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Aug 01, 2006, 06:44:44 PM
He needs some help.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 01, 2006, 07:15:47 PM
I don't wanna try him.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Aug 01, 2006, 08:44:52 PM
Apparently neither does 66% of Pennsylvania!
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Aug 01, 2006, 11:25:46 PM
Here's another one!

"You're bummed because you're going to buy a PS3 for $600. Hmmm...Wait! I have an idea to cheer you up! You're bummed because the PS3 is $600 and you're going to buy it. HERE'S A NEWSFLASH FOR YA BUCKO. DON'T BUY IT! If you'e bitching about spending $600 on something YOU REALLY DON'T NEED? Then DON'T. FUCKING. BUY. IT! You wanna burn a Six-Wad? At least be a man about being THAT STUPID. Say You're going to buy a PS3 for $600, and Just SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't need your bitching! I have enough troubles with my own commercialistic stupidity than to have to listen to YOURS. And if you're so god damn set to do this? Then be smart about being stupid! YES. I know, that sounds like an oxymoron, but let me explain with a real life example. Earlier this year I got it in my head that I wanted to buy a 360, and not the nuetered $300 birthday suit version either! $400 on a game console I really didn't need. DId I bitch about it? NO. I grabbed my balls, goose stepped to work, and busted my ass to Buy that White Son of a Bitch without shooting myself in the foot! So Stop your god damn bitching!"
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 02, 2006, 12:29:15 AM
That's what you would say.  Me, I wouldn't be offering any advice.  I'd be thinking of all the other things I could do with that money.  Then later I'd make some post about the whining pig-fucker who was bemoaning spending 600 dollars.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Aug 02, 2006, 09:26:53 PM
I'm brutally honest, what can I say.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 03, 2006, 03:14:21 AM
[doHTML] I am too, so I have to keep my mouth shut in order to keep on good terms with people.  I remember a manager asking me if her baby was cute and I faked a "Uhhhh... oh, look at the baby!" like I was interested.  I think the next job I get, I'll do it your way.  Not like I really gained anything with my passivity.  I'm serving up honesty, <S>Gioia-style</S> Ransu-style!
[/doHTML]
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Aug 03, 2006, 09:11:18 AM
Course, though, try not to curse as much as me.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Rama on Aug 03, 2006, 09:46:07 AM
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[doHTML] I am too, so I have to keep my mouth shut in order to keep on good terms with people.  I remember a manager asking me if her baby was cute and I faked a "Uhhhh... oh, look at the baby!" like I was interested.  I think the next job I get, I'll do it your way.  Not like I really gained anything with my passivity.  I'm serving up honesty, <S>Gioia-style</S> Ransu-style!
[/doHTML]
Then you just go "Oh he/she looks just like you." Ha Ha...thinly veiled insults to an unsuspecting victim, the sweetness of it all.  
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Guest on Aug 03, 2006, 05:10:36 PM
"Awww, isn't my baby cute?"
"...I've seen cuter. Still, as far as HUMAN offspring are concerned, yours is all right."
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Fiero on Aug 03, 2006, 07:36:08 PM
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"Awww, isn't my baby cute?"
"...I've seen cuter. Still, as far as HUMAN offspring are concerned, yours is all right."
I hope a girl said this, cuz I'm in love.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Aug 03, 2006, 08:13:16 PM
You need to get ass!
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Fiero on Aug 03, 2006, 09:22:41 PM
Quote
You need to get ass!
Give it then!
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Aug 03, 2006, 10:11:00 PM
Can't, I've decided to be celibate for a year, like Phucking Heiress-Whore.
























HAHAHA YEAH SURE
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Fiero on Aug 04, 2006, 09:32:29 AM
WHAT?  That slutty bitch with the little doggie?
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Aug 04, 2006, 04:18:21 PM
I actually did type her name, I forgot the config of this webpage changes it automatically:-D
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Aug 04, 2006, 04:39:11 PM
Phucking Heiress-Whore
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Derrick on Aug 04, 2006, 04:39:21 PM
AWESOME! IT DOES!
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Aug 04, 2006, 10:52:27 PM
Here's one I'm going to say if My Aunt Who NEVER SHOULD HAVE EXISTED ever tries to strike a conversation up with me ever again, as long as she is alive and breathing:
"Shut the fuck up, you fuck faced cunt. Shut your diseased face, nothing comes from it except poison, lies, and deceit, and I want NONE from you. SHUT UP. YOU DON'T SAY A DAMN WORD. You say another god damn word I'm punching you in your ugly face, because somebody should! You're a control freak, a worthless little peon in the grand scheme of the world that thinks she's important, but you're NOTHING. You're worth less than the bugs I scrape off my shoes, and it would be a merciful end to your life if one was simply to stab you in your god damn face and let your ugly soul get condemned to the EIGHTH Level of hell, Reserved especially for snakes like you! You POISONED Your own father, My GRANDFATHER! Against his son, My Father! You took advantage of a sick man in his dying days, and from then on your life was forfeit to me! I wouldn't cry one god damn tear if some maniac raped you, and left you bleeding in a fucking ditch, because it would be the most merciful fate to befall you. You  try to CONTROL everything and make everyone's life hell as a result! And When You DO have control, you delegate to your DESPICABLE Niece, who's becoming the spitting image of Your ugly soul! And When she gets out of it, Rather than actually trying to KEEP control by exerting the slightest effort? You bail out and dump everything on us last minute, expecting us to pick up the pieces! YOU DID THIS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER! YOU DESPICABLE BEING! I could SLAP you! You have no sense of worth of family, you disrespect, use, abuse, and discard your own flesh and blood! The sheer sight of you makes me sick to my stomach, and even being in your presence makes me feel dirty! I despise you, Everything you stand for, and You are no longer related to me. In my world, you don't exist, and I will treat you as I would any other stranger. And when you die? When your corpse is rotting in the ground? I'll piss on your grave and dance. Now get the fuck out of my sight."
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 05, 2006, 03:38:47 AM
I read two sentences and "She's Got Issues" by the Offspring just started playing in my head.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: Wickedly Yours E on Aug 05, 2006, 08:26:30 AM
You have no god damn idea how right that is.
Title: How I cheer someone up.
Post by: B E C K on Aug 18, 2006, 01:57:02 AM
Because I'm bored!!


I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel abandoned
If I don't stay over late
And I know she's afraid to commit
But it's only our second date

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She says she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And chell your baggage at the door

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind
But when she calls out his name in bed
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's
gone
But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me

My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay

If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And chell your baggage at the door


And if aDam comes and posts some M2M lyrics, this thread would be perfect.