The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Lynch on Jun 05, 2006, 08:51:22 PM
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I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
* Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
* Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
* Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead.
* When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
* DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
* Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
* To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
* As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
* She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
* Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
* Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to chell out some art. The more locations the better.
* Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
* Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
* BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick!
* One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do :-)
(http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/4226/women10vt.jpg)
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For a second I thought this was someone else.
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And who would that be.
Cassanova Jesus?
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Nope.
And your theory is flawed. No two women are alike.
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It's not that I don't find the subject matter interesting... but that's just way too long.
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I read the first 3 paragraphs and then realized that this post is the epithomy of bullshit.
Good job trying to go through life thinking women are objects.
To end this post, I would like to say a quote from a tv show, "what you are saying doesnt make you an ex-pert, it makes you an es-cort.
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Damnit, you made it 1 paragraph further than I did.
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I don't guess I can get a cliffnote version of this...or do I have to wait for the movie?
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I never read it, I was busy talking TO MY GIRLFRIEND.
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What angers me the most is that he thinks we need help in getting laid, while the only people here who need help is D and tom.
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I suppose I should mention that's a copy of an article posted in 2003 and caused a bit of a stir on some messageboards due to it's nature.
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Well the people on those board are probably pussies.
But I'll echo the sentiment of other on this board. I have no need ot manipulate women. I'm betrothed as a result of a completely honest and non manipulative courtship ritual. Couldn't be happier with the way things have turned out.
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Well, I've stated before my girlfriend got with me originally just to see if it was possible.
I like her style.
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For a second I thought this was someone else.
Ha ha, so did I. Dougvibes!
My brain started tuning out after "Disney Cartoons". I have a lot to say on the matter and yet I don't. Why bother, you can't even admit your own misogyny.
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Who does this asshole think he is?
Fuck you guy! Objectifying women is my schtick on this board! Get your own gimmick!
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My brain started tuning out after "Disney Cartoons".
Is that street for "drugs"?
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Dude I am taking both you and IDE to the clinic to get tested!
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You're just doing that for the free lolly.
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Why me?
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Why me?
No Zero, not you. I meant that for that Lynch guy. Unless there's something we don't know about you.
Nuri if that means what I think it means you are NASTY!
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No Zero, not you. I meant that for that Lynch guy. Unless there's something we don't know about you.
Let's find out...::Pulls off Zero's Mask. :: OLD MISTER JENKINS! But he owns the haunted amusement park!
Ok....uhhhhhh Nuri you are the closest thing we have to a Velma, come explain this. I got your back with lots of "Like Zoinks!" when you reveal something shocking.
Nuri if that means what I think it means you are NASTY!
It wasn't followed by "If you know what I mean." If you know what I mean.
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My test would flawless as usual. If I even suspect a girl is a whore bag I'm out of there. And If they made a hip holster for a spray bottle of alcohol I'd be known as the Isopropyl kid.
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As I told Merla in person today, dammit, I wasn't being nasty.
Ok....uhhhhhh Nuri you are the closest thing we have to a Velma, come explain this.
I~~ don't know whether to be flattered or not. Do I go.... eat some carpet now? Or something I'd rather not do, like the bad haircut?
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My test would flawless as usual. If I even suspect a girl is a whore bag I'm out of there. And If they made a hip holster for a spray bottle of alcohol I'd be known as the Isopropyl kid.
...that would just be dangerous, and land your ass in jail AGAIN!
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Just like in Carmen Sandiego! "IDE.... in jail!" Bars SF/X!
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My test would flawless as usual. If I even suspect a girl is a whore bag I'm out of there. And If they made a hip holster for a spray bottle of alcohol I'd be known as the Isopropyl kid.
...that would just be dangerous, and land your ass in jail AGAIN!
I'm never going back!
*sprays tom in the face*
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I have the easy, no-fuss cost-effective solution:
*Buy cheap plane ticket to Nevada
*Visit whorehouse
*Pay off credit card bill
*Rinse & repeat as necessary
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As I told Merla in person today, dammit, I wasn't being nasty.
Ok....uhhhhhh Nuri you are the closest thing we have to a Velma, come explain this.
I~~ don't know whether to be flattered or not. Do I go.... eat some carpet now? Or something I'd rather not do, like the bad haircut?
You arlready got the bad haircut...you should go buy a bright orange turtle neck.
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Someone needs to remind me who this Lynch guy is again. I seem to have a vague memory of him being a member of this board eons ago, but everything from back then is a blur.
Edit: I also just read that entire thing, amazingly enough. It sounds like IDE wrote the entire thing.
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See!
and I didn't even read a paragraph!
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You arlready got the bad haircut...you should go buy a bright orange turtle neck.
Oh nigga, oh no you di'n't! You haven't even seen my hair. It's now sandy, browny blonde with a completely different cut to it.
Someone needs to remind me who this Lynch guy is again.
He harkened from bitchspark as did Rama, Squirrely, Handy, aDam, and some of these other peeps all up in here. He was also part of the Suck Wars rp I used to participate in.
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there was some drama at bitchspark recently
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When isn't there?
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HAHAAH what I love about that damn place is that I only got there to make fun of people and in less than a month I got banned :'(
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When isn't there?
Yeah, really. Like it could matter anyway, since I only recall one of two people that are actually still there.
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it's just an endless cycle...Everyone is all happy shiney people and then someone starts thinking they are more important then everyone else and the board starts dividing up sides and then it comes to a head. Some people get banned, some leave, and everything settles down for awhile before starting all over again. It reads like instructions on the back of Shampoo.
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I miss Old School A11spark. Or A11spark Jr. "We are fun."
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http://p210.ezboard.com/ballsparkjr (http://p210.ezboard.com/ballsparkjr)
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Heh, "ballspark".
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I remember the old days, there might have been a dozen or so regular posters, there were only two or so forums at the board and people like Swoop were new. So were Nuri and Rama.
I blame the rest of you for destroying it all.
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I blame Strafe. We need to chase him into a windmill and burn it to the ground.
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When isn't there?
Yeah, really. Like it could matter anyway, since I only recall one of two people that are actually still there.
I've been posting there slowly and steadily since day 1.
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Slow and Steady wins the race. One day Shelly will be King of the AIIspark.
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That is really sad...
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Yeah really. Who wants to be king of that dump?
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:lol:
Well he is a turtle, it's the best way to go.
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Well everything was going great till Atreyu jumped on his back...then it all went to shit.
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Oh noes.
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I was just talking about Sam at lunch. I was telling my co-workers about the time he had to take a drug test for an intership. And the test came back positive. Turns out he had eaten a muffin with poppy seeds! :lol: :lol: :lol: This came up because my sandwich bread had poppy seeds.
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That make a great espisode for a sitcom....Too bad that Seinfield show isn't still on, I bet they could have used it.
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Yeah that's an idea. It would have made a great episode of Perfect Strangers.
"Cousin Larry Appleton does drugs!"
"I DO NOT DO DRUGS, BALKEY (sp?)!"
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I'm still waiting for someone to pick up my TV pilot. It's called Two of Kind and it stars Elton John and Whoopie Goldberg.
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That sounds like my pilot with Elton John and Boy George where they run a beachside resort spa owned by Sir Ian McKellen. I call it Bitches on the Half Shell.
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King of Queens was already taken huh?
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On celebrity Poker showdown, Mario Cantone had three Queens, but was knocked out of the tourne by a straight. Heheh
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Yes, but King of Queens isn't beachy enough anyway.
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You could use " I AM KING OF THIS HERE QUEEN'S WORLD BITCH!" but that's too long for a sitcom title.
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Beachy, I said!! Unless I make it "I AM KING CRAB OF THIS HERE QUEEN'S WORLD BITCH!", but that's just silly.
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"Best Damn Fag Show PERIOD"
Seems like my board's picking up all the runoff from the latest AS implosion. It's really kept me busy, being that I'm my own staff.
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What happened there?
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"Best Damn Fag Show PERIOD"
Seems like my board's picking up all the runoff from the latest AS implosion. It's really kept me busy, being that I'm my own staff.
Remind me to never touch you. I don't want to be spit on.
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You know I was looking for something (for Lynch no less) and stumbled on this thread. And I must say everyone was on their A-game in this one. Real funny read. So give yourself from three years ago a pat on the back.
Beachy, I said!! Unless I make it "I AM KING CRAB OF THIS HERE QUEEN'S WORLD BITCH!", but that's just silly.
Oh and "Sandy Bottoms Up."
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Damn it, I was so full of life and optimism then. Now I'm full of ire and grim determination.
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My comment makes absolutely no sense. I wonder if it was related to whatever avatar Schwigs had at the time.
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You mean depending on what he had, you'd want him to spit on you?
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It takes all kinds.
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So a guest was reading this thread and the OP reminded of me of some guy that proceeded to follow me from the bus into the mall many, many years ago. First, he asked me for a light. He wanted my phone number and I said, "here's my email" because he was nice but I don't do phone calls. Then he proceeded to shop with me. Like, dude, who are you? It was like having a remora. He even went into Bath and Body Works with me. Ok, whatever. So I tell him, "hey dude, look, it's been real, but I'm going to the comic book store down the road now" and he's all "let's go together, hurr." I was walking there so unless I burst into a run like a gazelle, we're a-going together.
So then he tells me his friend's on the way there and we stop by the apartment complex because it literally was on the way there. He actually invites me into their apartment. And I'm all "LOLOLOL NO." Young, single woman going alone into your apartment, bitch? Helllllll nah. He kept pushing the issue and I just look at him all "NAH." I ain't going in. I humor him and wait outside and his friend comes out and tags along with us to the comic book store. So when we get there, I can tell his friend probably goes to the comic book store all the time and already saw all the shit there. He's bored as shit. As I only got to go once every few months, I'm taking everything in. This is MY time. And dude's friend asks dude, "How much longer are we going to be here?" Which really irritated me. It just did. Like, LEAVE. And sure enough dude tells me, "hey, we're gonna get Thai across the street. Wanna come?" And I'm "Nope, bai." Fin.
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You probably should have dropped the dude after he paid for your meal
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Seeing him pulled away all too early for Thai food due to his antsy, failure of a wingman was a satisfying meal all on its own.
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I can't believe you went along with it that long.
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Meh, I guess I was bored. It was years ago so I don't recall.
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Just sounds awful rapey.